April is the cruelest month...

at least this last week of it has been. Last night Caramel started coughing up blood. We took her right over to the Vet, and they took Xrays and blood. We won't know till her blood tests come back in a for a couple of days but it looks like it's heartworm. When we first got her the rescue org told us that her heartworm would die after a year and monthly maintenance med alone would protect her which turns out, is not true. The fact that she is a Katrina rescue and from the South puts her at risk. The emergency Vet who coincidentally is from LA. too was great and patiently explained everything. He gave her hydocodone pills to supress the coughing, but last night she coughed up blood all over the house today she's OK. The treatment foe heartworm is dangerous and requires hospital stays. There may be clotting and sudden death but it's preferable to a slow, painful death from heartworms. She's young and she's strong so we are optimistic. And also cause we have to be. It's really a drag that all three of us now have illnesses.
Speaking of which, my Thurs visit to the Dr has resulted in more unanswered questions. It seem my latest blood tests are all negative which they tell me is very unlikely and highly frustrating. We had to use a new lab which my Dr. was not happy about. I will have to take new tests at a different lab. This and the uncertainty of not knowing what is going on, does not please me. But the codeine she prescribed has helped my smashed funnybone( call me Righty!) and my headaches. Now my dog and I are both on opiods. Go figure.
Torrential rains left water in the basement 2 weeks ago but apparently not enough for the gods of flooding. As I turned on the washing machine Mon, the water leaked directly out. RIP-we had to get a new one.( an energy-saving front-loader) Wed, I went to shopping for a kitchen table. (The one we have been using for the past year is my parent's folding bridge table, a present they received on their 25th anniversary- 46 years ago. Many, many Mah Jong and card games have been played on it.) I parked by the furniture store and as I was about to get out of the car, someone started banging quite violently on my window, nearly giving me a heart attack. It seems that in backing up in my tiny car, I had bumped him as he was sitting in his BMW with-the-Jersey-plates while he was swilling his designer coffee and he felt that breaking my side window with is fists would be an appropriate way expressing his rage. Words were exchanged, I tried to call a cop on my cell phone- can't really work those things, then finally, I got out of the car at which point the cowardly middle-aged Milquetoast fuck jumps away from me. I delivered him a severe tongue lashing then go into the store where the manger informs me that bully has removed his car from the spot behind me which, in fact, has been concealing the fact that it is a fire hydrant. It is 3:00, I'm in Park Slope, there are no parking spots but plenty of gridlock. It takes me 40 minutes to get home. Bad day.
But still not as bad as yesterday which started with an early morning walk, just me and my Caramelly.We were walking down the block and a man came towards us. Carrie didn't like his looks and crossed over in his direction, but she was still obviously restrained by a short leash. He, a middle-aged tough guy type jumps 10 feet in the air. I apologized cause I live on this block and also I'm nice. He screams at me, in a very aggressive manner," If I had my gun, I would shoot that fucking dog!" What is going on with all these bad-tempered middle aged men? Is it Spring fever? I swear, I'm going to start carrying Mace!

Words to ponder

This was from a column in the Times today about Mayor Bloomberg's admirable attempt to "green-up" NYC and also preserve it for the future. He said, " if we don't act now, when? And if we don't act, who will?"
The columnist ( Haberman) writes, " Whether or not he meant to, he borrowed it from Hillel the Elder, a Jewish sage of 2,000 years ago."
" 'If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?' "
So simple, so just. Applicable to all living things and to every occasion. So after 2000 years, what's the hold-up?

Unreasonable justification

50 ways to not recall? If Alberto Gonzales has such a bad memory, why is he the highest lawyer in the land? His sense of recall is tres Reaganesque! My favorite bit of his testimony:..." while reasonable people might decide things differently, my decision to ask for the resignations of these US attorneys is justified."
Justified unreasonability?
Is that the rationale that NBC used when airing that tape of the Virginia Tech killer.
Or the idea that it was the VT administration, not easy gun access, that was at fault in the tragedy?
Or the "surge campaign" in Iraq which has resulted in unprecedented numbers of deaths.
Or Arthur Kennedy and his right wingers determining what an individuals personal rights should be and a that woman is not capable of knowing her own mind?
Or Gov. Corzine's decision to ignore 2 simple laws of his state to put himself and the state in jeopardy?
Yeah, unreasonable justification sounds about right.

How about gun control as a preventative?

The US Congress in all it's dubious, questionable wisdom, has legislated today against partial-birth abortion. Why, we wonder is it so pre-occupied with women's reproductive issues which should be a private affair in the first place? And yet today, even after the horrible massacre at Virginia Tech, they reject any talk or measures about gun control.We don't need to protect the living, only the unborn, is that it? There are virtually no gun rules in VA and you can buy anything with no vetting whatsoever at gun shows in most states. Like PA where those 12 little girls were murdered. How many of these bloody incidents will it take? How powerful of a lobby is the NRA, those ratbastards with their bear arms.
In other news, a minke whale was spotted in Brookyn, from Sunset Park in NY harbor. A neighbor told me the whale has gone into the Gowaus canal! So cool!
I needed cheer because Champ, a favorite doggie neighbor has gone missing. He is a Dogue de Bordeaux, like a french mastiff. His older brother Clifford was lost, jumped the fence or kidnapped in Dec, so his owner got another puppy, Champ. Clifford was discovered in upper Manhattan and was returned for a fee. I hope Champ will be returned too. We went to visit Clifford today,( the owners put up a higher fence, I noticed) he was playing with his cat, who's sweet and about a zillion years old. Caramel stuck her face between the bars in an unfriendly way and got scratched across her muzzle. She really has to get over this cat thing, I told her never to mess with them!
So, today I was supposed " prepare" ( drinking a gallon of echy liquid, fasting, and eliminating) for a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow. Last night, the soppy foot of fate stepped in to postpone it. I roasted a pork loin that has been living in the freezer for way to long for my "last" supper. While it rested, I took a quick shower. When I came out, Carrie was not waiting at the bathroom door, as is her custom. Afraid for our dinner, I stuck my head out the door and so doing, put a wet foot on the slippery marble door sill. Down I went, landing on my funny bone which is a mis-nomer if I ever heard one. It is the oh-my-god-kill-me-I'm-dying from- the-pain bone. Nothing humerus about that, although I was quite giddy about not broken anything or smashed my head a la Kurt Vonnegut. I'm okay but have a sufficiency of pain for the moment thank you and do not need my belly pumped full of air. Also, I cannot lie on my left side, which is required.
Coincidentally, I injured the same arm that was used for a blood test on Monday which already bruised and swollen from the tech going through the vein.
So I'm typing one-handedly and grateful for the pain pills I have from the last Sjogren's flare.And feel like a little mischief.
My faithful reader and very dear friend LeftCoast sent me a link from her High School reunion. Someone posted this photo of her from 1967. She actually trusted me not to print it, can you imagine? How could I not share such gorgeousness!
Go All-Stars!

Oops, quelle faux pas! It is the Supreme Court who today handed down the Partial-Birth Bab decision that draws my ire. Congress passed this piece of shit legislation in 2003.
And guess what? That ass-kisser Guiliani endorses it!

#42, Jackie Robinson

Yesterday was the 60th anniversary of breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball. Many MLB baseball teams wore uniforms with the number 42 to commemorate the event. (Except on the Mets where the honor was granted to Mgr.Willie Randolph alone.) It was momenteous and opened many locked doors. As a little Bebe growing up, Jackie was a god in our house. I still remember the way my Father's face would light up when he spoke of him. Since we had four Jackies in our family, I naturally assumed that Jackie Robinson was kind of related. I mean, he was from Brooklyn! When I grew older I couldn't reconcile the fact that he was an officer in WWII, but was confronted by death threats for playing baseball. He was a gifted, accomplished, classy, dignified guy who made history as a person, player and civil rights activist. I was always very proud that it happened in Brooklyn. That was way back in the days when the term "role model" meant something positive and skill, not salary was celebrated. Who do kids idolize these days? Ai stupido, American Idol, I forgot. (Apparently a lot of kids are a not even playing baseball anymore. I read a recent article citing a steady decrease in the number of black players. I've been wondering if it has anything to do with urban centers where pick-up b-ball and football games are easier to find.)
I am truly not understanding the present cult of celebrity or why, 60 years down the road, it's a still funny and even okay to be racist, sexist and homophobic in the media or anywhere else. And mean, why is everyone so fucking mean- on TV and radio, in ads, in blogs? Whattha?
In the case of Imus and his "nappy ho" remark, he said it because really thought it would be okay. It's like, did you ever have a conversation with someone who made a casual racist or sexist remark while assuming that you were a bigot too? It's like that. Personally, I don't care if the jerk stays or goes, I don't do talk radio. Ads it's not about free speech. I just don't think anyone has the right to be a racist, sexist homophobe. And then be paid for it? We need to have a little more respect for Jackie's legacy.

Does Joey Fatone not rock???

I'm still Dancin' with the Stars even tho they fill up the airways with redundant, gratuitous replays and I find the judges scoring biased and erratic.
Sorry, but Leeza was way better than Clyde, who, while adorable, cannot manage to get across the floor gracefully. I also took offense to his comment that dancing was not hard work. Sure! He was hardly working!
Which reminds me of Imus who deserves not to be working.
I don't follow b-ball, college ball or ladies ball, or any New Jersey team at all. But- a little solidarity for the home-girls, please. Aside from the fact that his comments were incredibly stupid, sexist and racist, how about a little support for the tremendous accomplishment for the hometown (tri-state area!) team!
Why has celebrity-diarrhea-of-the-mouth become so common?
Could it be the example set by our fearless leader, George II who stands by his ridiculous statements, even in the face of the truth?
Like, the death-to-Americans protests in Iraq which he spinned as, "proof of the democratic process working"? While today's news reported the longest battle there to date.
Also, from yesterday's Times, a study by the government finds that in India, over 50% of children are victims of physical and sexual abuse.
WTF, I don't even have a comment for that.
At the endodentist yesterday I had a follow-up for a root canal I had last year.
(remember good old tooth #18?) My twisted roots look good and have healed. Yay!, I'm so proud of myself! As if I did it myself!
The dentist (dontist?) was concerned when I told him about the Sjogren's and we spoke about it. Again, I was surprised and gratified that he knew what it was.
Because it was such a beautiful day, and I felt brave, I walked over to the rheumy's office to move my appt up to this month.
I guess I'm a bit in denial about the Sjogren's dx and I wanted to be sure of the diagnosis before I saw the dentist on Fri.
Or I wanted to hear that she was not sure it was SJS.
She's sure, it is.
I've never met anyone with Sjogren's- I'm quite lost in this. I'm totally bewildered by what's been going on in my body and the conflicting opinions I get from the drs.
A simple example, I am to have a colonoscopy next week. I got a leaflet telling me what to expect. Here, an excerpt:
Sedating medication will be given. For your safety, we cannot perform the examination if you are driving a car.
That is some image- a butt-probe on wheels!

We are not amused

I am daily enraged by the many injustices I read about in the newspaper but this story leaves me speechless.
In response to complaints from adjoining residents, an amusement park outside Sacramento CA has decreed that screaming, yelling and laughing will no longer be allowed on rides. If anyone makes too much noise the ride will be stopped and the offenders will be ejected.
The obvious questions arise:
Why live near an amusement park in the first place?
How will they determine which ride participant does the screaming?
And most importantly,
Isn't it dangerous? Won't their little heads explode if they don't scream?


My dear (much older) brother thoughtfully
sent this cartoon from The New Yorker
in tribute to my age and my never-ending
quest for clarity and succor from the medical profession, who I fear, loathe and distrust.
So far this year, I've been to an internist, rheumatologist, pulmonologist, sleep doctor, opthamologist, and gastroenterologist.
This is in addition to "regular" check-ups.
Despite all the stress, strain and fatigue involved with doctor's visits (a total of 12 hours this week alone), being poked and prodded and sent for innumerable tests, scans and x-rays, none of these esteemed medical professionals seem to agree about any one aspect of my illness or treatment. They are each very quick and happy to contradict and even ridicule one another's diagnoses. I might have illness X. Or not. This diagnosis is definite. Or inconclusive. Or patently ridiculous. I'm taking too many meds. I need to take more meds.
My GP (who was the one who finally dx'd the fibro) refuses to even consider a DX of Sjogren's without a lip biopsy (uh, no). He told me to get a second rheumy opinion. The first rheumy I went to told me I had lupus (I did not) and the fibro would go away (ha). I tend to trust my current rheumy a little more because she has fibro herself. The GP insists I have migraines and need injectable meds. I think not. Does one get migraines in the teeth and jaw? Presently I have a sinus infection and my face hurts so badly that I asked for Tylenol#3 which I hate to take. I am taking antibiotics and will dutifully see the dentist and endodontist this week. The fun never quits.
During an gasto endoscopy this week, I learned that my esophagus is twisted,
This was interesting as the last colonoscopy I had revealed that I have a twisted colon. The last root canal I had showed that I have twisted tooth root canals.
Admittedly, I've always been slightly twisted, but what the hell? It's like I've been cursed by Chubby Checker!

It was Vladislav not Vladimir

who was the tech at my sleep study last night. He was much more informative than Vladimir, my first study tech. I found out, among other things, that the nickname for Vladislav is Vlad, but Vladimir is called Dimi.
Go know.
Unlike my first study which I actually slept through, I woke about 3:00AM with god-awful terrible pain in my right eye, teeth and face and neck. There was a huge weather change here, from temps in the 70's to the 30's; added to that, I think I have a sinus infection and I must be having a Sjorgren's flare. My mouth and tongue are swollen and painful.The electro-probes, the tape and the mask on my head didn't help either. Vlad was very concerned and asked about the cause of the pain. I told him about the Fibromyalgia, which he was familiar with and Sjogren's, which he was not. He suggested I take tramadol, a pain pill I had sometimes take. While we waited to see if I'd go back to sleep, he looked it up. He not only researched it, he called 2 colleagues at NYU and Stony Brook.
He knows more about Sjogren's than many of my regular doctors. I was stunned! (I asked how he got into the sleep game and he said he was a clinical psychologist in Russia and got involved with sleep research.)
Well, after much tossing and turning, I went home at 4:30 AM but not before I caught sight of myself in the mirror.With all the wires, straps and connections, I was quite Borg-like.
Vlad said that with the CPAP, I did not stop breathing- a big plus. I did OK breathing through my mouth only. In a week or so, I will get a CPAP machine from the the sleep company. I will try the nasal pillows instead of the face mask and hope for the best.
When I got home, I thought I'd give Steve some extra sleep so I walked the dog who had already peed in the kitchen in apparent protest to my not being home overnight. Grrrr.
So today I've visited with my Russian doctor, our Dominican cleaning lady (Rosie-who calls me Mami) the Anglo tech who came to replace Steve's CPAP and our Pakistani roofer. A multitude of accents! It's been a long and busy day.
The roofer was a lovely, if chatty man but he was terrified of Caramel. I put her in the guestroom with the door closed while he did the estimate and she peed again! She has serious separation anxiety issues.
On the public radio show I listen to, they have been playing Bruce Springsteen all day. It has been comforting and way enjoyable and just now, as Rosie left, they are playing his "Rosalita( jump a little lighter!)". How cosmicall coincidental!

Sleeping around, again

I am so nervous about seeing the Gastrointerologist this Fri (which will invariably involve the insertion of tubes in and about my person), I forgot that I have my follow-up sleep study tonight- the one with the CPAP machine.
I hope I can manage that mask/head-sling gizmo- anything that touches my face, head and hair ( that's why it's 2 inches long) is bound to be annoying.
Not unbelievably, it is also unattractive and weird looking.
No prob! My usual seductive, sex-pot, bedtime accessories are hand splints, teeth aligner, heating pad, socks (on, then removed) and the occasional elastic knee brace.
I won't have to change my style at all!
La Carmelita will not like this at all. She doesn't like Steve's CPAP.
Actually, she herself snores very loudly,
Maybe we need a CPUP?
(Forgive me if I've made that joke before- I just crack myself up)

Bush Bashing has been too long absent from this space, no?
He may be goon, but he's not forgotten.
He is critical of Congress "undercutting the troops" overseas even though they are untreated and maltreated when they finally come home- after too many tours of duty.
He believes that the American people support this war, despite the growing criticism from both parties.( Republicans starting to realize they cannot support him and retain any degree of credibility).
He thinks that present global warming regulations are sufficient and places blame on China for it.
He actually believes that despite the failure of the program, there is No Child Left Behind.
(Doh! On the radio they just said: chance of snow.)
His aides and advisors lie, and he swears to it.
He is stupid, spoiled, stubborn, seriously deluded and severely in denial.
My, that was satisfying!

In news from Israel:
The Green Leaf Party in conjunction with the Rabbinate, has announced that marijuana, is not kosher for Passover. What, no bitter herb on the seder plate?
Of course, the implication of this is that it is kosher at all other times.
It'll be a rockin' Rosh hashannah!

This recipe ( jewish biscotti) is not kosher for Passover either, but it has been requested. I have edited it slightly, to my taste.

Aunt Sarah's Mondlbrot (Almond bread)

-------- ------------ --------------------------------
3 cups flour
3 eggs
1/2 cup oil
1 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
dash whiskey
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 bag chocolate chips ( or M&M's, or raisins even)
pinch salt
1 cup nuts, ( any kind you like, or omit entirely)

In mixing bowl, cream together eggs and sugar until totally dissolved.
Add rest of ingredients except chips. Fold , adding chips and nuts.
Refrigerate for an hour for easier handling.
Form into two loaves about 2" wide on greased cookie sheet. Can sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar mixture if desired. Bake 350F for 30 minutes. Slice while warm into 1/2" slices.
Return to cookie sheet, sliced side up and put back in oven for 10 minutes if you like them crisp.
Or, shut heat and place in turned off oven for a few minutes. Cool on wire racks.
Store in airtight container. They freeze really well.