In Israel the New Year is in the fall, Rosh Hashanah ( It's fascinating to me that many cultures have their New Years at dissimilar times of the year when for my two cents the year begins in the spring when things come back to life) and December 31st is a non- holiday which is called Sylvester. This is weird cause Sylvester was a Christian pope who became a saint in 335. His feast day is 12/31 but apparently, he never left Rome, so I don't get the connection to Israel.
Any theologically-bent know-it-somes, out there?
While I'm on the subject, check out today's Deity of the Day, it's a familiar one and rather amusingly written.
2005 has been quite a long eventful year and makes me think of the Chinese who have a curse: may you always live in interesting times.
(Maybe not as forceful as the Jewish curse: may all your children be like you, but you get the idea.)
So I would like to send out a wish to everyone for health, happiness, love, joy, peace and if it's not to much to ask, little self-actualization for us all. Mwah!!!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Well dahlin's, Ah'm jest blushin'
Such profuse praise! I'm not ashamed to say I kinda need that feeling of being gratified and validated. I am very flattered especially that the youngin's "get" me too. I really don't relate well with most of my age group, it's true.
False modesty compels me to say, I've been collecting words all my life and now I'm just putting them all to use, if I remember them and how to spell and put them together. And, it keeps me off the street.
Better watch out or I will be printing old essays and very, very bad poetry.
Another blog perq: I'm getting to hear from you Californians, how I miss you, both clever, brilliant (in Italian: sfolgorante) women! We three are the only ones left who write actual letters. Your comments here bring you closer to me even tho we are a continent away. I actually heard from Tex in Fla, too. It seems he can put words together to make sentences! I think we are gonna go down there and kick his skinny,sorry,ancient ass; he's gonna be 60 in Feb!
Do you all know the singer-songwriter, Richard Thompson? The Razor dance? Vincent 52? A fave, he was on the radio, now it's Patti Smith doing "When doves cry". I'll stop now.
I'm presently waiting for Bro and SIL, Sarah, kid and Pete. They are probably trapped in that Bermuda Triangle of car traffic, Staten Island, a favorite pet peeve of mine. I'm anticipating many hugs, also, I will put it in writing here, I love Pete. SIL and I are both besotted.
We will lunch then they will do a Manhattan Xmas. I will rest so I have the energy to go out with friends tonight. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. I love that holidays, now matter whose, always bring people together.
It's interesting that all people need the structure of gatherings and celebrations.
I'm really beginning to appreciate the power and importance of ritual, symbols and objects, even tho I do not have a belief system, and do not believe in belief systems. I always joke that I would be an atheist but that would mean joining a group. So I borrow from other groups; the Jewish custom of lighting candles in one's home in memory of the dead is strangely comforting. I have made an altar for myself with the elements of earth, wind, water, plant and fire and I find that this too gives me strange comfort as do Xmas carols and gospel music. And I would be permanantely blue if I didn't have blues music as the soundtrack to my life. Singing in the shower, what!
Music and food are extremely ritualistic for me. Even tho I am anosmic, which means I have no sense of smell and no sense of taste beyond sweet, sour, bitter and salty. Nevertheles there are foods I crave from memory, like coffee.
All ice cream tastes pretty much the same to me, you can give me mint or pistachio and I won't know the difference,( I taste by color) but we make the annual pilgrimage to Coney Island for a pistachio/banana swirl cone cause it's part of the ritual.
But ritual is not just about comfort, goddess knows. I'm beginning to think of it as the lifeforce of culture; rituals inspire, or even cause, art.
Of course, not everyone has the wisdom or patience to understand art, nor is art readily available to all. In the 21st century! (When I was a teen, back in the day - Ooh, I hate that expression- museums were free and so we went to them often. Much of "legitimate" art is deliberately elitist if you ask me but of course you did not.)
Everyone uses and most people understand symbols, customs and rituals even if they make them up themselves.
Amazingly tailored to person or group, rituals can serve the creator, the maintainer, the parasite the extremist,the exorcisist,the destructor; the wicked and the just, the mediocre and the VIPs. I think that covers just about everybody. Oh, and sports fans too.
Steve just got home, nipping my tangent in the bud, so I've got to go plug in the tree, light the Hanukkah candles, plan New Year and eat Xmas candy.
Ritual in Italian is, ritualerituale. Molto diificile!!!
False modesty compels me to say, I've been collecting words all my life and now I'm just putting them all to use, if I remember them and how to spell and put them together. And, it keeps me off the street.
Better watch out or I will be printing old essays and very, very bad poetry.
Another blog perq: I'm getting to hear from you Californians, how I miss you, both clever, brilliant (in Italian: sfolgorante) women! We three are the only ones left who write actual letters. Your comments here bring you closer to me even tho we are a continent away. I actually heard from Tex in Fla, too. It seems he can put words together to make sentences! I think we are gonna go down there and kick his skinny,sorry,ancient ass; he's gonna be 60 in Feb!
Do you all know the singer-songwriter, Richard Thompson? The Razor dance? Vincent 52? A fave, he was on the radio, now it's Patti Smith doing "When doves cry". I'll stop now.
I'm presently waiting for Bro and SIL, Sarah, kid and Pete. They are probably trapped in that Bermuda Triangle of car traffic, Staten Island, a favorite pet peeve of mine. I'm anticipating many hugs, also, I will put it in writing here, I love Pete. SIL and I are both besotted.
We will lunch then they will do a Manhattan Xmas. I will rest so I have the energy to go out with friends tonight. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. I love that holidays, now matter whose, always bring people together.
It's interesting that all people need the structure of gatherings and celebrations.
I'm really beginning to appreciate the power and importance of ritual, symbols and objects, even tho I do not have a belief system, and do not believe in belief systems. I always joke that I would be an atheist but that would mean joining a group. So I borrow from other groups; the Jewish custom of lighting candles in one's home in memory of the dead is strangely comforting. I have made an altar for myself with the elements of earth, wind, water, plant and fire and I find that this too gives me strange comfort as do Xmas carols and gospel music. And I would be permanantely blue if I didn't have blues music as the soundtrack to my life. Singing in the shower, what!
Music and food are extremely ritualistic for me. Even tho I am anosmic, which means I have no sense of smell and no sense of taste beyond sweet, sour, bitter and salty. Nevertheles there are foods I crave from memory, like coffee.
All ice cream tastes pretty much the same to me, you can give me mint or pistachio and I won't know the difference,( I taste by color) but we make the annual pilgrimage to Coney Island for a pistachio/banana swirl cone cause it's part of the ritual.
But ritual is not just about comfort, goddess knows. I'm beginning to think of it as the lifeforce of culture; rituals inspire, or even cause, art.
Of course, not everyone has the wisdom or patience to understand art, nor is art readily available to all. In the 21st century! (When I was a teen, back in the day - Ooh, I hate that expression- museums were free and so we went to them often. Much of "legitimate" art is deliberately elitist if you ask me but of course you did not.)
Everyone uses and most people understand symbols, customs and rituals even if they make them up themselves.
Amazingly tailored to person or group, rituals can serve the creator, the maintainer, the parasite the extremist,the exorcisist,the destructor; the wicked and the just, the mediocre and the VIPs. I think that covers just about everybody. Oh, and sports fans too.
Steve just got home, nipping my tangent in the bud, so I've got to go plug in the tree, light the Hanukkah candles, plan New Year and eat Xmas candy.
Ritual in Italian is, ritualerituale. Molto diificile!!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Happy Chrismukkwaanza
is how my SIL Tina's 3 fab boys, our nephews, greeted us Saturday when we went out for a visit under the Hanukkah bush. SIL J and her beau L were there too. and a good time was had by all. Tina made her usual yummy feast including latkes, natch and noodle kugel. We played board games and then " who's line is it anyway" and some people joined in only after kicking and screaming but we wound up on the floor in stitches anyway. Adults are too lazy to have fun.
Kids rule, grown-ups drool.
We went to Cousin Joel's for Xmas and he asked that we bring a kugel which we ate along with the lasagna he made. (Jews are not from the low carbs.) There was a family there with kids there too, 2 boys, also delicious who live in Joel's development. When the youngest boy was adopted last year he gained a Mom, Dad and brother all at once. The first time they took him out to the pool the first person he saw was Joel, a somewhat large person with white hair. Seeing Joel the boy asked, is that my Grandfather? Joel said he was and adopted the whole family. How cool is that?
The best part of the holidays is communicating with everyone all at the same time which is almost like being together but not.
I spoke to Roza, my dear friend and another former ballet teacher who grew up and danced in the USSR. She calls me on every Jewish holiday just cause she can. Religon was outlawed by their government, but Russians have a secular Santa-figure, Grandfather Snowman and his granddaughter/elf in their folklore which pre-dates christianity. They put up green boughs or a decorated tree to celebrate the New Year and they eat lots of sweets.
It's really quite unbelievable how addictive sugar is and how fast one succumbs to it.
After our lost chocolate weekend, we reached the nadir last night; dinner was apples, tea, cookies, cakes and ice cream. I will have to walk the straight and narrow, but not till 2006. There is a lot of chocolate to finish, then I will have to go cold turkey. I actually prefer cold turkey esp with cole slaw.
In response to a reader's query, I need here to make a declaration;
A New Yorker does not a Yankee fan make, dear Catherine. We do have more than one team you know.
I was raised in a Brooklyn Dodger household and therefore my allegiance is with the National League and the NY Mets. My affection and attention for the Sox are only a by product of my and inherited and inherent rancorous dislike of the Yankees.
During the Series last year, I was in the hospital having surgery for a broken wrist. I was miserable and on morphine and the one thing that kept the fear away and tethered me to reality was anticipating the Sox winning.
Sad to say, now that they won and Damon is gone the curse will probably be restored and they will wait another 86 years. But we will speak of these things again come April.
Here, for my own amusement as well as a present to my readers are the words to a seasonal-appropriate Tom Waits song that I cannot get out of my head:
Chocolate Jesus
Kids rule, grown-ups drool.
We went to Cousin Joel's for Xmas and he asked that we bring a kugel which we ate along with the lasagna he made. (Jews are not from the low carbs.) There was a family there with kids there too, 2 boys, also delicious who live in Joel's development. When the youngest boy was adopted last year he gained a Mom, Dad and brother all at once. The first time they took him out to the pool the first person he saw was Joel, a somewhat large person with white hair. Seeing Joel the boy asked, is that my Grandfather? Joel said he was and adopted the whole family. How cool is that?
The best part of the holidays is communicating with everyone all at the same time which is almost like being together but not.
I spoke to Roza, my dear friend and another former ballet teacher who grew up and danced in the USSR. She calls me on every Jewish holiday just cause she can. Religon was outlawed by their government, but Russians have a secular Santa-figure, Grandfather Snowman and his granddaughter/elf in their folklore which pre-dates christianity. They put up green boughs or a decorated tree to celebrate the New Year and they eat lots of sweets.
It's really quite unbelievable how addictive sugar is and how fast one succumbs to it.
After our lost chocolate weekend, we reached the nadir last night; dinner was apples, tea, cookies, cakes and ice cream. I will have to walk the straight and narrow, but not till 2006. There is a lot of chocolate to finish, then I will have to go cold turkey. I actually prefer cold turkey esp with cole slaw.
In response to a reader's query, I need here to make a declaration;
A New Yorker does not a Yankee fan make, dear Catherine. We do have more than one team you know.
I was raised in a Brooklyn Dodger household and therefore my allegiance is with the National League and the NY Mets. My affection and attention for the Sox are only a by product of my and inherited and inherent rancorous dislike of the Yankees.
During the Series last year, I was in the hospital having surgery for a broken wrist. I was miserable and on morphine and the one thing that kept the fear away and tethered me to reality was anticipating the Sox winning.
Sad to say, now that they won and Damon is gone the curse will probably be restored and they will wait another 86 years. But we will speak of these things again come April.
Here, for my own amusement as well as a present to my readers are the words to a seasonal-appropriate Tom Waits song that I cannot get out of my head:
Chocolate Jesus
Don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store
Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied
Well I don't want no Anna Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul
(Solo)
When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait
Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Merry Crispness and Happy Chaka Kahn
Christmasiana from Leftie:
Reindeer is actually redundant. The root rein is Scandinavian for 'reindeer', so reindeer translates to 'reindeer deer'.
The abbreviation X-mas , thought to be sacrilegious by some, is entirely appropriate. The letter X (chi) is the first letter in the Greek word for Christ.
Mistletoe is thought to be based on a German word for bird excrement (from the fact that the plant is propagated in it). It is combined with an Old English word (toe) for twig.
Poinsettia , native to Central America, it's been a symbol of Christmas in the U.S. since the 1820's when it was first shipped here by Joel Poinsett, the American minister to Mexico.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Cookies and hotdog dogs
Marla, my former and sweetest ballet teacher ever came over for lunch Thurs. and at my request brought her 2 mini-dachshunds, Oscar and Vienna. There they are in character as Scrooge and Tiny Tim. Vienna (Sausage) is new but I know Oscar (Mayer) since he was a tiny puppy. He and his Dad, Sabrett, would hang in the studio during classes. They knew they were allowed to beg for treats only after reverence, (bows) then they would go nuts. How did they know? Was it the tempo of the music, the choreography? Recently Marla had out-of-town guests who had a sealed, taped, tin of M&Ms in their closed suitcase. While the people were out, Oscar not only opened the suitcase, he unsealed and opened the tin, and ate zillions of M&Ms. How did he do that? When Marla came home, she found him all fat and swollen and, because chocolate is toxic to dogs, the vet said that she had to induce vomiting. Just picture that tiny dog spewing out multi-colored... never mind. But he’s so cute! We had a wonderful day! I'm so happy that her dance company will use Mom's old mink stole and her black mink jacket and Auntie's 40's racoon jacket. In fact, Marla is working on a new ballet with a sort of Thin Man, 1930's murder mystery motif and the furs will be way appropriate. Mom and Anna would qvell !
Since seeing Charlie and the Chocolate factory, I’ve been laying awake nights thinking about making candy and cookies so on the the day of the winter solstice I made some:dark chocolate raisin bark with toffee peanuts, triple chocolate cookies (an old recipe from Morgana I will share) and butterbrickle-pecan cookies. Steve and Marla both brought cookies, so I'm all hooked up in terms of an extra layer of fat for winter.
Last night we ventured into deepest, darkest Boro Park ( an orthodox Jewish neighborhood- no one there!)) to finish our Xmas shopping. 15 minutes away, it took 45 to get there thanks to the transit strike, but the store and the supermarket next to it were almost empty! Yeah baby!
Of course the TA strike ended last night but not before it got ugly. (Told you so!) The mayor accused the Transit Workers of being "thuggish and selfish", which was accurate- they were like a gang of thugs holding the city hostage during a major tourist and sales season.Toussaint, the TW pres, called the remarks racist, because most of the workers are Black, Latino and Asian-american. Hmmm, so is most of the MTA ridership, as well as the population of the city. There may be a lot of issues here, but to bring the race card in is just mean and irrelevant. No cookies for him!
No cookies for Congress either. $50 billion for Iraq and Afghanistan. $29 billion for US hurricane relief. There are still people living in flophouses. Hey, what's the rush?Republicans said because they can't drill in Alaska, they will cut $2 billion in home heating assistance for low-income homes.The Patriot Act, was cut and pasted into limbo again. W warned yet again that security is more important than privacy. While this may be debatable, the concept of security is not. Secure is kinda the opposite of violate, yet our rights, laws and our Constitution are being violated and we are certainly not more secure.
I am totally for increased security! The world and US have changed since 9/11. I support random bag searches on the subway and am angered that people oppose it while at the same time spill their lives out of cell phones in every public place for everyone to hear; anyone can monitor cell phones. Security and privacy need to be defined; we can't have different (illegal) rules for the government that no one knows about. Our own gov't is depriving us of the very freedom it says it is fighting to keep. Security needs to be intelligent, respectful, judicious and non- invasive and gasp, sensible. Unlike the following true story:
The night before the RNC last August, NYC police used a $9.8 million custom helicopter designed to track terrorist activity for the purpose of watching Critical Mass, a group of several thousand bicyclists ( a known rowdy and subversive group?) as they tried to ride peacefully thru the city. As this was not on the Republican agenda because no fossil fuels were used, they were denied a permit and hundreds were harrassed and arrested. (This story also involves a developing scandal about "ringer" cop/ agitators amongst the bikers, but more about that later) Meanwhile, a couple on their private, dark, enclosed rooftop were filmed by infrared camers as they shared intimate moments. For four minutes! Hey, youse got a bomb or a bombshell up here? The owner of the apartment found out about it when the tape was shown on TV. Our tax dollars at work, don't you feel the security already? It's enough to make you want to toss your cookies.
Johnny Damon abandoned the RedSox for the reviled Yankees for a zillion dollars per each at bat. He is a cookie (with or without) the hair but really, who cares! It's the wrong season anyway.
Last night I ate cookies and watched the end of the Nutcracker on PBS followed by a show about the holiday lights in ... Dyker Heights! Am I au courant or what? Or in this case, or watt!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
By the numbers
There are two kinds of people in the world: numbers people and word people.
I am of the latter ilk, to me math is scarier than spiders; at least spiders I understand.
But today I noticed an interesting numerical pattern in the news;
In the United States this past year:
The murder rate rose by 2%
Greenhouse-gas emissions grew by 2%
Teenagers are smoking 2% less
Teenager are using alcohol 2% less
But, the rate of teenagers using legal controlled substances like Oxycontin and Ambien rose by 5%.
Also, there is a $39.7 billion deficit reduction package in the house with a Pentagon budget provision for oil drilling in Alaska, but $50 million to keep peacekeepers in Dafur was rejected.
Today there is a transit strike and are no city buses or trains running in NYC. Stinky drives, luckily.
On TV this AM there were droves of maniacal Brooklynites walking and biking over the Brooklyn Bridge in 22 degree very windy weather. The span itself is a mile long and so high that even in August it's cold up there. The Red Cross was giving out coffee! New Yorkers, insane and indomitable really do pull together in the clutch, we are gloriously united in adversity (if you have a car breakdown scores of passersby will stop to commiserate and make redundant suggestions) but we also have a short attention span and it's only a matter of time before all this good-naturedness dissolves into riots and road rage. I imagine vigilante groups will be formed to go after MTA workers. They've already restricted our borders!
More numbers, from a letter written to today’s ScienceTimes: according to the World Health Org, by the year 2030 as many as 1.2 billion women worldwide will have reached the age of 50 when hot flashes occur. The writer asks, "May one infer that hot flashes will become a factor in global warming?" Uh oh. You youngins' better take note! Maybe activism will be called for; help the hot, warm down the womanly, pad the postmenopausal, cool the crone.
We will not be refrigerated!
I am of the latter ilk, to me math is scarier than spiders; at least spiders I understand.
But today I noticed an interesting numerical pattern in the news;
In the United States this past year:
The murder rate rose by 2%
Greenhouse-gas emissions grew by 2%
Teenagers are smoking 2% less
Teenager are using alcohol 2% less
But, the rate of teenagers using legal controlled substances like Oxycontin and Ambien rose by 5%.
Also, there is a $39.7 billion deficit reduction package in the house with a Pentagon budget provision for oil drilling in Alaska, but $50 million to keep peacekeepers in Dafur was rejected.
Today there is a transit strike and are no city buses or trains running in NYC. Stinky drives, luckily.
On TV this AM there were droves of maniacal Brooklynites walking and biking over the Brooklyn Bridge in 22 degree very windy weather. The span itself is a mile long and so high that even in August it's cold up there. The Red Cross was giving out coffee! New Yorkers, insane and indomitable really do pull together in the clutch, we are gloriously united in adversity (if you have a car breakdown scores of passersby will stop to commiserate and make redundant suggestions) but we also have a short attention span and it's only a matter of time before all this good-naturedness dissolves into riots and road rage. I imagine vigilante groups will be formed to go after MTA workers. They've already restricted our borders!
More numbers, from a letter written to today’s ScienceTimes: according to the World Health Org, by the year 2030 as many as 1.2 billion women worldwide will have reached the age of 50 when hot flashes occur. The writer asks, "May one infer that hot flashes will become a factor in global warming?" Uh oh. You youngins' better take note! Maybe activism will be called for; help the hot, warm down the womanly, pad the postmenopausal, cool the crone.
We will not be refrigerated!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Chocolate Hangover
Oivavoi! Stinks got fabulous anniversary cakes from Two Little Red Hens ( A bakery in Park Slope that is like a jewelry store, the treats are so beautiful) and we rented “Charlie and the Chocolate factory.” I was hooked from the very opening, when they make the chocolate bars in an amazing mechanical ballet. Actually the whole movie was very balletic; the music and choreography were clever and very funny. The entire movie was hilarious and if it was dark, well that’s the way it was written. I laughed myself silly , where does Depp get all thoses voices, and viva Oompa Loompas! Warning: If you see it, have chocolate on hand! Lots! Then we went for a ride around Brooklyn; Bay Ridge and Dyker Heights ( where the Son of Sam murders took place) and other flashy nabes to look at the Xmas lights. Even tho it was after 10:00PM there were streets we couldn’t park on or drive down because they were to clogged with gawkers.( a clog of goggle-eyed gawkers as it were) There were life sized creches and figures, huge toys, angels, skaters, etc. We noticed that the red, white and blue theme so popular in the last 4 years has reverted back to green and red and white. I give extra points for multi-colored lights, a personal fave. I always had more gentile than jewish friends as a kid, so I dearly do love this chazzerai . We have a very old 18” Spode ceramic Xmas tree lamp with tiny multi lights that our neighbor Mo gave us few year ago cause she said we needed it. We did! She gives us her tree trimmings too, the branches of which I use for mulch outside. Our block is so cool! We are catsitting for P-nut and Boobie next door while their mommies are in France. We need to remember to lock the cat door as racoons come into their kitchen. It will be the last time as they sold the house and are moving downtown in Jan. We are bummed to lose both them and the cats. They will return on Xmas eve and then we will catsit for Langston across the street who has a fabulous Xmas tree (and a babygirl too) that I love. It’s a pleasure to catsit and also pay everyone back for watching Fatboy (and our garden) when we were in Israel for 3 weeks. Here is a photo of Fatboy himself, El penguini, the cutest cat ever. It is an unfortunately unflattering view with parts nobody needs to see but there you are!
The word of the day is: Absquatulate, as in “my butt is numb and I must absquatulate and go elsewhere”
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Fibromyalgia Tender points
Friday, December 16, 2005
Days of future past
December is full of wonderful anniversaries my life:
My parents' wedding, 70 years ago; my brother Sid and wife Roz, first date 45 years; my first ballet class, 28 years; Stinky and I, first date 22 years, Sarah's daughter, my grandniece, born 10 years; going back for my Early Childhood Ed degree, 8 years. How old do I feel?
What better way to celebrate than go back to my former school to see a performance presented by the theatre company of my former dance studio?
Aviso, this part may be boring to the general public:
"Holiday delights" was 3 pieces; Gospel suite ( modern, great music, good Becah and Emilie, who have really improved) Clara's dream ( "Candy" variations from Nutcracker- viva Brenda and Mandy, and candycanes, Laura was Sugar Plum, has not outgrown flaws) and Fantastic toys (which really was, and very funny, thanks to Marla and Lucie) I saw Leah , who I can't believe is an adult, with her 2 year old and 4 month old, Gladys, who has aged and Bert who oddly, has not, Joey, who was a fab King in "toys", talented tiny Mila, who I saw and who is with a company, Brenda, my former flamenco teacher does most of the choreography now, and it's very clever, but where are the big jumps? There is no adult class, I guess all the kids who worked up have moved on, and it's always been hard to find adults who want to work that hard just for fun. The end of another era!
There was much screaming and hugging backstage. Damn, I forgot how bony they are! I'm seeing Marla next week for lunch and I will give her Mom's mink stole and Aunt Anna's racoon jacket for use in future ballets. A fitting use for them, I think.
It was wonderful to be out and see a performance ( One of the most exciting experiences in life is that moment when the lights go down in a live theatre) and seeing everyone was wonderful, but was bittersweet too. And, I repeat unnecessarily, I feel soooo old. Alte, vieja, ahjuz .(arabic)
There's another, unhappy anniversary. Tomorrow will be 22 years, the day after my 1st date with Steve, that Rudy shot himself. He died on the 24th.
He was half of a mismatched twinset who were both my best friends at one time or another from the time I was six. His mother named them Gertrude and Rudolph, but for some reason she aways called Rudy Butchie. Built like a twig, you never saw less of a Butchie in your life. I lost touch with Trudi, who had lost touch with the world, but Rudy was like a brother to me, and all of our crowd.
He taught me about electricity, Star Trek, and how to play guitar, he built a computer from a Radio Shack Kit 30 years ago. He was an extraordinary person and had not a mean bone in his body, evil maybe, but not mean. In all these 22 years our crowd has shrunk and dispersed across the country but I know all of us will be thinking about our sweet, smart, talented, crazed Rudy.
Happy Birthday and Anniversary to you! If you got 'em, celebrate 'em!
My parents' wedding, 70 years ago; my brother Sid and wife Roz, first date 45 years; my first ballet class, 28 years; Stinky and I, first date 22 years, Sarah's daughter, my grandniece, born 10 years; going back for my Early Childhood Ed degree, 8 years. How old do I feel?
What better way to celebrate than go back to my former school to see a performance presented by the theatre company of my former dance studio?
Aviso, this part may be boring to the general public:
"Holiday delights" was 3 pieces; Gospel suite ( modern, great music, good Becah and Emilie, who have really improved) Clara's dream ( "Candy" variations from Nutcracker- viva Brenda and Mandy, and candycanes, Laura was Sugar Plum, has not outgrown flaws) and Fantastic toys (which really was, and very funny, thanks to Marla and Lucie) I saw Leah , who I can't believe is an adult, with her 2 year old and 4 month old, Gladys, who has aged and Bert who oddly, has not, Joey, who was a fab King in "toys", talented tiny Mila, who I saw and who is with a company, Brenda, my former flamenco teacher does most of the choreography now, and it's very clever, but where are the big jumps? There is no adult class, I guess all the kids who worked up have moved on, and it's always been hard to find adults who want to work that hard just for fun. The end of another era!
There was much screaming and hugging backstage. Damn, I forgot how bony they are! I'm seeing Marla next week for lunch and I will give her Mom's mink stole and Aunt Anna's racoon jacket for use in future ballets. A fitting use for them, I think.
It was wonderful to be out and see a performance ( One of the most exciting experiences in life is that moment when the lights go down in a live theatre) and seeing everyone was wonderful, but was bittersweet too. And, I repeat unnecessarily, I feel soooo old. Alte, vieja, ahjuz .(arabic)
There's another, unhappy anniversary. Tomorrow will be 22 years, the day after my 1st date with Steve, that Rudy shot himself. He died on the 24th.
He was half of a mismatched twinset who were both my best friends at one time or another from the time I was six. His mother named them Gertrude and Rudolph, but for some reason she aways called Rudy Butchie. Built like a twig, you never saw less of a Butchie in your life. I lost touch with Trudi, who had lost touch with the world, but Rudy was like a brother to me, and all of our crowd.
He taught me about electricity, Star Trek, and how to play guitar, he built a computer from a Radio Shack Kit 30 years ago. He was an extraordinary person and had not a mean bone in his body, evil maybe, but not mean. In all these 22 years our crowd has shrunk and dispersed across the country but I know all of us will be thinking about our sweet, smart, talented, crazed Rudy.
Happy Birthday and Anniversary to you! If you got 'em, celebrate 'em!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Full Moon Fever
I always get it. The moonbeams come shooting thru the skylight and wakes me up. (see my new Moon phase calculator below) I have not lately posted cause I've had the miseries and did not want to blah-out by sitting too much. I need to parcel out my energy allotments judiciously and yesterday, I sewed. I made pink satin throw pillows for the guestroom/sewing room/boudoir. The fabric is from satin sheets I got as a wedding present from Barbara 19 years ago. I was wondering what it takes to delight a Turk. ( Istanbul was Constantinople!) It's interesting that many recollections of The lion, the Witch and the media blitz are centered around Turkish delight .( seems like all that allegory was lost on us kids, huh?) My first taste was a shocker; they were very beautiful colored jelly jewels, sugar-powdered ( evoking all that snow!) and nestled in a lovely box but so disappointingly bland I felt betrayed and puzzled and I never trusted British writers again, at least in terms of food. After 9/11, the world of reality was too much for me so I re-read the Tolkien trilogy,( for about the 5th time) and all the Harry Potters and they held up.The Narnia Chronicles, not so much, I found them repetitive, sermonizing and worst of all, boring by book three. I wonder if the CS Lewis Perelandra trilogy holds up. Another fave: the Christopher Paolini dragon series. He started writing at 14; this kid is good. And so on to : You can't make this shit up! Pres. Ahmahdinejad of Iran stepped up his to say yesterday that the Holocaust definitely never happened and was a myth created by Europe to "create a Jewish state in the midst of the Islamic world." (No matter what can be said of him, it sure is fun to say his name) Some suggested places to send the Jews : the US, or Alaska. Didn't anyone tell him about statehood? Anyway, the idea is ridiculous; George 2 has big plans of his own to fuck up Alaska! Speaking of fucking up, our government has brokered a deal with the Palestinian Authority so that Israel cannot monitor who enters Gaza from Egypt until 8 minutes after the fact. Thanks, Condi! Thousands of convicted and ejected terrorists are already back in Gaza and attacks on Israel have already escalated ( they actually never stop) . So much for PA self-government and the peace process. Also, as a holiday present I guess, W announced that 30,000 Iraqis have been killed so far, he has made mistakes, we must be prepared for more bloodshed, and he needs more money to illegally detain, ship abroad, torture and kill as many as we can to insure democracy for people who arguably want it. In a related story, many federal home loans for Gulf coast hurricane survivors (who were home-owners and taxpayers) are being turned down because 82% of applications don't qualify;- too poor, they are. It seems there is problem with jobs down there. I would be remiss if I did not include this headline from the Wall Street Journal which is so wrong on so many levels:" Virgin Territory: Women seek a second first time". It refers to hymen surgery or "revirgination." Says one client who paid $5000 to be a virgin again for her hubby, "It's the ultimate gift for the man who has everthing." A spa in Queens, NY was giving them away free as a promotion. Gyns are advertising in magazines for them. For the woman who maxed out on plastic surgery, I guess. I need to acknowlege two deaths that occurred last week and were kind off overshadowed by John Lennon's. Eugene McCarthy and Richard Pryor , different as can be, both changed the world in profound ways and both spoke of truth. McCarthy was a voice of reason in the political craziness of the 60's, when the country was afraid and when the war in was escalating.( Deja vu all over again) He gave a voice and hope to my generation. He said that patriotism "is to serve one's country not in submission but to serve it in truth" Oh so apt today. Richard Pryor said what had to be said and got people to listen. Accused of harshness and profanity he said, "A lie is profanity, a lie is the worst thing in the world. Art is the ability to tell the truth, especially about oneself." Truth is a rare and valuable virtue these days, we are fed so much crap on a daily basis who can recognize the truth? Reality shows are fiction that people believe and real life is a sitcom. The powers that be in this country, government and corporate, spew out lies which the media ( who gets paid for some of this propaganda) exploits and twists in countless ways. If only Jimmy Smits was president!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Cookie hangover today
Ah me, sweets are something I usually have sparingly but hey, it's Saturnalia! I'm sure the gods regarded sugar and butter as nectar and ambrosia. Check out this link for some pagan fun: http://www.godchecker.com.
Audrey was involved in a "cookie exchange" - a concept straight out of The Nutcracker , Land of the Sweets, right? Everyone bakes six dozen cookies, ( Audrey made chocolate thumbprint cookies with a caramel center!) then they exchange so everyone winds up with six different kinds of cookies of a dozen each. So yesterday, during the tree decorating and the carol singing , I had to taste em all. Oh baby, it was wonderful! And surrounded by sqoosh-bucket doggies too. We decked the halls with Holly ,and Buggee too.
Re Stinky's photo; he is in the shadow which is hiding the gray, but we prefer to say "silver".
Here is an across-the-table-shot: sunset on the Med in Tel Aviv. And yes, children stare at him thinking he's Santa (the rosy cheeks don't hurt either) He likes to say that he got all white while we were in Israel not unlike Moses when he ascended the mountain and returned all white haired. I think it was the threat of being recalled to the army, which in a deliciously ironic twist, wouldn't even want him cause he's too old.
I'd better go eat something healthy
Audrey was involved in a "cookie exchange" - a concept straight out of The Nutcracker , Land of the Sweets, right? Everyone bakes six dozen cookies, ( Audrey made chocolate thumbprint cookies with a caramel center!) then they exchange so everyone winds up with six different kinds of cookies of a dozen each. So yesterday, during the tree decorating and the carol singing , I had to taste em all. Oh baby, it was wonderful! And surrounded by sqoosh-bucket doggies too. We decked the halls with Holly ,and Buggee too.
Re Stinky's photo; he is in the shadow which is hiding the gray, but we prefer to say "silver".
Here is an across-the-table-shot: sunset on the Med in Tel Aviv. And yes, children stare at him thinking he's Santa (the rosy cheeks don't hurt either) He likes to say that he got all white while we were in Israel not unlike Moses when he ascended the mountain and returned all white haired. I think it was the threat of being recalled to the army, which in a deliciously ironic twist, wouldn't even want him cause he's too old.
I'd better go eat something healthy
Friday, December 09, 2005
Holy Eastman, mother of Kodak- I did it!
I took and posted a photo all by myself!; Stinky on Porch! This is what I call my summer "room", August 05. Was it worth a weeks worth of work? Yes! I'm beside myself! And so on to true news: I mentioned holocaust deniers yesterday, and today we hear that President of Iran who in October asked for Israel to be "wiped off the map" now wants Israel to move to Europe.( He must be softening in an effort to convince the world to let Iran develop nuclear weapons.) You can't make this up, really. Iran does not accept the claim that the Holocaust occurred but if, one the outside chance it did, they wonder if guilt is the reason Europeans support the "occupiers of Jerusalem" today. On the basis of that logic Iran is asking that Europe give up Germany or Austria or "one of their provinces" to create a Zionist state, Hmm Iran acquires nuclear power, Israel is in Europe.They call blow up the Jews and the EU and not worry about blowing themselves up too. Two birds with one nuke! In a review of trivia books, this useless data caught my eye; " Tayter, Layter, Mether-a-dicks and Yan-a-bumfit are part of the traditional English numbering system for counting sheep." I'm beyond quips on this one. Hookah cafes in NY are illegal because they serve tea ( to it's mostly Muslim non-drinking clientele.) You can smoke indoors, but only in a place that sells both tobacco and alcohol. Health and racial profiling are important to New Yorkers! For the second time, a pleasant odor wafts over NYC and it make the news! Investigated and declared non-hazardous, the mysterious smell has been described as similiar to maple syrup and caramel. The website, www.gothamist.com reported maple smells from the Village clear up to Columbia U, most of Manhattan. Mass hallucination? Mass hypnosis? Attempts at mind control. I don't give a flying fudge factory!Those of us with no sense of smell will be spared! Tonight is Fri which means we will watch our taped Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy from last Sun, and if they aired it, a repeat of Voyager. I live a fast life, don't try to stop me. Tomorrow we are going to Joel's to help decorate their tree, a formidable undertaking. Their house is Xmas Central, it's amazing and I love it. Also, they have dogs! You lurkers better comment on the photo.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Oi, angels and mallomars
Children, it is cold! I am fleece-covered and cat- adjacent. Here is info I keep forgetting to post: Oivavoi is a hebrew expression, meaning: alas, alack, woe is me, oh shit. It is the counterpart of the Yiddish, oy gevalt. It is not to be confused with the British oi, which means, "hey you". I googled Oivavoi and I got the website of a Liverpool rock band. Who knew?
I never heard it till I read it in a book about Israel, but it stuck in my head.
I often get things stuck in my head.(which probably accounts for these headaches)
Here's another: I had to look up that angel business. "Cherubim" were regarded by the ancient Jews as the least of the seven hierarchies of angels attending to the Almighty and were envisioned as four-winged, four-faced beautiful young men. Later, Christians changed the image to fat babies.
Many years ago cousin B got me an angel ceramic. They have mysteriously multiplied. Gift-givers who were getting sick of buying us fish presents picked up on it and we now have a dining room full of cherubim, seraphim and a fab putti. (And I remember who gave me which!) Oddly enough, meals in there seem heavenly. (Stinky cooks)
Today's NY Times has a wonderful in-depth article on Mallomars, that elusive jewel of cookies. Magnifcent in it's simplicity it is a rounded marshmallow sitting on a vanilla wafer covered with gorgeous dark chocolate. It is available only from October to March which only adds to the mystique. The writer compares this to Nouveau Beaujolais season; "les Mallomars sont arrivees." Apparently, 70% are sold in the NY area. Who, we wonders, is eating the other 30%? Are you, dear reader? And whereso?
Kisses and belated Birthday greetings to Vatru on his 30th! Mwah!
I never heard it till I read it in a book about Israel, but it stuck in my head.
I often get things stuck in my head.(which probably accounts for these headaches)
Here's another: I had to look up that angel business. "Cherubim" were regarded by the ancient Jews as the least of the seven hierarchies of angels attending to the Almighty and were envisioned as four-winged, four-faced beautiful young men. Later, Christians changed the image to fat babies.
Many years ago cousin B got me an angel ceramic. They have mysteriously multiplied. Gift-givers who were getting sick of buying us fish presents picked up on it and we now have a dining room full of cherubim, seraphim and a fab putti. (And I remember who gave me which!) Oddly enough, meals in there seem heavenly. (Stinky cooks)
Today's NY Times has a wonderful in-depth article on Mallomars, that elusive jewel of cookies. Magnifcent in it's simplicity it is a rounded marshmallow sitting on a vanilla wafer covered with gorgeous dark chocolate. It is available only from October to March which only adds to the mystique. The writer compares this to Nouveau Beaujolais season; "les Mallomars sont arrivees." Apparently, 70% are sold in the NY area. Who, we wonders, is eating the other 30%? Are you, dear reader? And whereso?
Kisses and belated Birthday greetings to Vatru on his 30th! Mwah!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Dec. 7th, a day of antique infamy
As a baby-boomer , I grew up in the shadow in WW II. I learned about Pearl Harbor second-hand, as well as the Nazi horrors. I never imagined that I would see a worse horror, 911, first-hand. But then again, I never imagined that a war like the one in Southeast Asia would be fought again, especially with the complicity of those who shoulda known better. Or that genocide would still be prevalent all over the globe, which in itself is warming, and nobody is taking that seriously because they are betting intelligent design will solve the problem.
Which reminds me! Mel Gibson has annnounced that he is working on a mini-series for TV about the Holocaust. He links Jews to the death of Jesus and, his Dad is a holocaust denier (which is actually illegal in several coutries), My guess about the mini-series? Musical comedy!
We watched the Victoria Secret Show last night, a first. Instead of making Barbie dolls more realistic, they are making women more like dolls, but glowy-er. What a wonderful image for young girls to aspire to! The photography was erratic and very choppy or whatever you call it, so you really didn't get to see the details of the costumes, or as Stinky pointed out, the camera didn't linger long enough to focus on those parts that might be the stuff of which wet dreams are made.
(I paraphrase).
But it did get me thinking about those wings and the how the whole "angel" thing that has swept the country. You can't swing a headless Barbie in this country without hitting someone wearing an angel pin. All these wings made me think of all the bird imagery that's in our national consciousness; hot chick, old hen, turkey, hawk, dove, cocks-of-the-walk, bird flu, wise owl, brave eagle, little chickadee, birdbrain, birdlegs, eats like a bird, bird in the hand, bluebird of happiness, Cock Robin rockin' robin and of course, chicken butt..
I go now to break my fast. I suddenly have an urge for an egg.
More True News:
A pizza delvery man in Norway was handed his own credit card upon payment. It was stolen from him the day before. Karma, in a perfect world.
Which reminds me! Mel Gibson has annnounced that he is working on a mini-series for TV about the Holocaust. He links Jews to the death of Jesus and, his Dad is a holocaust denier (which is actually illegal in several coutries), My guess about the mini-series? Musical comedy!
We watched the Victoria Secret Show last night, a first. Instead of making Barbie dolls more realistic, they are making women more like dolls, but glowy-er. What a wonderful image for young girls to aspire to! The photography was erratic and very choppy or whatever you call it, so you really didn't get to see the details of the costumes, or as Stinky pointed out, the camera didn't linger long enough to focus on those parts that might be the stuff of which wet dreams are made.
(I paraphrase).
But it did get me thinking about those wings and the how the whole "angel" thing that has swept the country. You can't swing a headless Barbie in this country without hitting someone wearing an angel pin. All these wings made me think of all the bird imagery that's in our national consciousness; hot chick, old hen, turkey, hawk, dove, cocks-of-the-walk, bird flu, wise owl, brave eagle, little chickadee, birdbrain, birdlegs, eats like a bird, bird in the hand, bluebird of happiness, Cock Robin rockin' robin and of course, chicken butt..
I go now to break my fast. I suddenly have an urge for an egg.
More True News:
A pizza delvery man in Norway was handed his own credit card upon payment. It was stolen from him the day before. Karma, in a perfect world.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Between the snowflakes and why I"m here
Ech, it's cold and dark and foggy had about 4" of snow on Sun but it quickly melted which the best kind of snow. We will be getting 6" tonight ( they are talking blizzard) and I"m already feeling it. Changes in weather affect me profoundly, usually in the form of pain and exhaustion which is the nature of my disease, along with IBS and sinusitis. And this concerned reader, is why I have not been around.
But we did had the opportunity to rent some movies for a change:
The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - very goofy and freaky and funny, I laughed my ass off. My DH, Steve was not as amused. ("thank you for the fish!")
Mr & Mrs Smith- much better than I expected, dark and hysterically funny (" I was an art History major!") Brad Pitt is a natural physical comedian in addition to his other charms, altho I have to admit that Angelina is one of the few women prettier than he.
Guess who- not so good, too dopey. Bernie Mac is his same old self and I just don't get the Kutcher appeal.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire- fantastic, if not too short( yes, too short). Beautifully visualized, altho Stinky and I feel that it should have been made into 2 movies. They gave short shrift to the Quiddich World Cup, Dobby, and other plot lines, which was inexcusable. Sarah felt the editing was too choppy, which it was, but nephew D agreed with us, that for readers of the books, it was fabu. It was scary enough for me to leave marks on the arms of my seatmates.( I might as well use this space to admit to the world that I'm a "scare" wimp.) "You know who" was chilling!
Following the canon fills in the gaps, I guess. Twas brilliant, truly.
I've also been reading, a mix of Star Trek novels and books about grammar and Judaism. Also the Times as well as many magazines including Maxim (oh, I hate magazines) and the Wall Street Journal, which are mysteriously delivered in my name. embarrassing on both counts!
I used to think that in my golden years it would be cool to have all the time I want just to read. But like Burgess Meredith I learned that it's not so great. There's only so much sitting around I can do at one time. My fibromyalgia compromises my cognitive functions so focusing is a problem. too.Sometimes my brain doesn't function so goodly.
need to move around so oxygen can go to my head so I can think. If I only had a brain! ( That one's for you, honey.) But I still need stimulus of some sort. Most of the TV shows we watch are the few favorites we tape so we don't have to watch commercials. (A subject for another time perhaps.)
I need to disseminate (bullshit-free) knowledge as well as absorb it. I need to create something, It's important for me to do something when I can't be physically active. Resting is harder to achieve than one may think. I can no longer take ballet classes, I don't go to the gym. My hands are no longer skillfull. I don't even cook much anymore; I have anosmia- no sense of smell. I am often depressed and pissed off. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of having a disease, tired of coming up with different ways to express to different people just how I feel (how lucky you are to be retired!- not really!) and most of all, tired of everything being so tiring, even sleeping is tiring.
I'm working to adjust to and accept my limitations, but I need to compensate for the things that I lost, preferably without taking it out on innocent bystanders. I need a forum wherein I can bitch to my heart's content. Sometimes a good kvetch ( not to be confused with grepps, which also applies) can be as satisfying as a bad orgasm.
So I decided to keep a journal as a way to remind myself of who I am: a strong, independent-minded, loving, viable, credible being with empathy and ideas and opinions, and not just a useless, befuddled, writhing, lump of ultra-sensitive, under-developed, lumpy, sallow flesh.
Yeah, baby!
Unfortunately, I can't read my own handwriting and must type so here I am on-line.
Fuck the innocent bystanders!
My entries will not be as spontaneous as I had originally hoped, but the same goes for my life, and I got over that, so there you are. I find writing to be cathartic, for me personally and globally.
I have not been happy with the way things are going in the world....Ever. It's beyond me why these fucking humans can't get there shit together. Trous des balles!
In 56 years, I've seen families and people and governments and nations make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. Power and greed, that's what it's all about. Egotism and materialism. Everyone is in it for themselves first. Ugh!
Those who go in search of the meaning of life are missing the point; living is the meaning of life, living with truth, living the best way you can, living to enrich the world around you, not just taking from it, living in the world. Diluting power and greed. Learning from your past mistakes, dammit! .
One of my big jokes to myself is, I'm going to write a letter! ( to whomever) This blog is the repository for all the letters I want to write and you dear reader will have to bear the brunt of it.
Also, it is a good way to communicate with loved ones that I miss very much and who are far away. Altho I think of you often, I do not correspond at that same rate. Well, now that I think of it, neither do you, you slug! I still love you tho, I always will. You know who you are.
An email with messages are rare these days, a written letter even more so.
A friend was over when the mail came with a letter from Morgana; she was shocked and awed at the concept of a handwritten letter. Oh, you kids today!
Nevertheless, it's a good way to let you know what is going on with me and Stinky who incidentally, grows in his Steveness daily and in the Tao of Steve.
I appreciate that my new readers get my sense of humor, as it's cool to have new friends and humor alone is that which separates us from lesser beings and allows us to make fun of same.
Also, another confession:
I am an utter idiot about computers and am only here thru luck and guidance. Some of you have sent links to your blogs, but I don't know how to get there from here. No fear, I will persevere - I care, I swear.
On that sorry note, ta.
BB
But we did had the opportunity to rent some movies for a change:
The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - very goofy and freaky and funny, I laughed my ass off. My DH, Steve was not as amused. ("thank you for the fish!")
Mr & Mrs Smith- much better than I expected, dark and hysterically funny (" I was an art History major!") Brad Pitt is a natural physical comedian in addition to his other charms, altho I have to admit that Angelina is one of the few women prettier than he.
Guess who- not so good, too dopey. Bernie Mac is his same old self and I just don't get the Kutcher appeal.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire- fantastic, if not too short( yes, too short). Beautifully visualized, altho Stinky and I feel that it should have been made into 2 movies. They gave short shrift to the Quiddich World Cup, Dobby, and other plot lines, which was inexcusable. Sarah felt the editing was too choppy, which it was, but nephew D agreed with us, that for readers of the books, it was fabu. It was scary enough for me to leave marks on the arms of my seatmates.( I might as well use this space to admit to the world that I'm a "scare" wimp.) "You know who" was chilling!
Following the canon fills in the gaps, I guess. Twas brilliant, truly.
I've also been reading, a mix of Star Trek novels and books about grammar and Judaism. Also the Times as well as many magazines including Maxim (oh, I hate magazines) and the Wall Street Journal, which are mysteriously delivered in my name. embarrassing on both counts!
I used to think that in my golden years it would be cool to have all the time I want just to read. But like Burgess Meredith I learned that it's not so great. There's only so much sitting around I can do at one time. My fibromyalgia compromises my cognitive functions so focusing is a problem. too.Sometimes my brain doesn't function so goodly.
need to move around so oxygen can go to my head so I can think. If I only had a brain! ( That one's for you, honey.) But I still need stimulus of some sort. Most of the TV shows we watch are the few favorites we tape so we don't have to watch commercials. (A subject for another time perhaps.)
I need to disseminate (bullshit-free) knowledge as well as absorb it. I need to create something, It's important for me to do something when I can't be physically active. Resting is harder to achieve than one may think. I can no longer take ballet classes, I don't go to the gym. My hands are no longer skillfull. I don't even cook much anymore; I have anosmia- no sense of smell. I am often depressed and pissed off. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of having a disease, tired of coming up with different ways to express to different people just how I feel (how lucky you are to be retired!- not really!) and most of all, tired of everything being so tiring, even sleeping is tiring.
I'm working to adjust to and accept my limitations, but I need to compensate for the things that I lost, preferably without taking it out on innocent bystanders. I need a forum wherein I can bitch to my heart's content. Sometimes a good kvetch ( not to be confused with grepps, which also applies) can be as satisfying as a bad orgasm.
So I decided to keep a journal as a way to remind myself of who I am: a strong, independent-minded, loving, viable, credible being with empathy and ideas and opinions, and not just a useless, befuddled, writhing, lump of ultra-sensitive, under-developed, lumpy, sallow flesh.
Yeah, baby!
Unfortunately, I can't read my own handwriting and must type so here I am on-line.
Fuck the innocent bystanders!
My entries will not be as spontaneous as I had originally hoped, but the same goes for my life, and I got over that, so there you are. I find writing to be cathartic, for me personally and globally.
I have not been happy with the way things are going in the world....Ever. It's beyond me why these fucking humans can't get there shit together. Trous des balles!
In 56 years, I've seen families and people and governments and nations make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. Power and greed, that's what it's all about. Egotism and materialism. Everyone is in it for themselves first. Ugh!
Those who go in search of the meaning of life are missing the point; living is the meaning of life, living with truth, living the best way you can, living to enrich the world around you, not just taking from it, living in the world. Diluting power and greed. Learning from your past mistakes, dammit! .
One of my big jokes to myself is, I'm going to write a letter! ( to whomever) This blog is the repository for all the letters I want to write and you dear reader will have to bear the brunt of it.
Also, it is a good way to communicate with loved ones that I miss very much and who are far away. Altho I think of you often, I do not correspond at that same rate. Well, now that I think of it, neither do you, you slug! I still love you tho, I always will. You know who you are.
An email with messages are rare these days, a written letter even more so.
A friend was over when the mail came with a letter from Morgana; she was shocked and awed at the concept of a handwritten letter. Oh, you kids today!
Nevertheless, it's a good way to let you know what is going on with me and Stinky who incidentally, grows in his Steveness daily and in the Tao of Steve.
I appreciate that my new readers get my sense of humor, as it's cool to have new friends and humor alone is that which separates us from lesser beings and allows us to make fun of same.
Also, another confession:
I am an utter idiot about computers and am only here thru luck and guidance. Some of you have sent links to your blogs, but I don't know how to get there from here. No fear, I will persevere - I care, I swear.
On that sorry note, ta.
BB
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