Between the snowflakes and why I"m here

Ech, it's cold and dark and foggy had about 4" of snow on Sun but it quickly melted which the best kind of snow. We will be getting 6" tonight ( they are talking blizzard) and I"m already feeling it. Changes in weather affect me profoundly, usually in the form of pain and exhaustion which is the nature of my disease, along with IBS and sinusitis. And this concerned reader, is why I have not been around.
But we did had the opportunity to rent some movies for a change:
The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - very goofy and freaky and funny, I laughed my ass off. My DH, Steve was not as amused. ("thank you for the fish!")
Mr & Mrs Smith- much better than I expected, dark and hysterically funny (" I was an art History major!") Brad Pitt is a natural physical comedian in addition to his other charms, altho I have to admit that Angelina is one of the few women prettier than he.
Guess who- not so good, too dopey. Bernie Mac is his same old self and I just don't get the Kutcher appeal.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire- fantastic, if not too short( yes, too short). Beautifully visualized, altho Stinky and I feel that it should have been made into 2 movies. They gave short shrift to the Quiddich World Cup, Dobby, and other plot lines, which was inexcusable. Sarah felt the editing was too choppy, which it was, but nephew D agreed with us, that for readers of the books, it was fabu. It was scary enough for me to leave marks on the arms of my seatmates.( I might as well use this space to admit to the world that I'm a "scare" wimp.) "You know who" was chilling!
Following the canon fills in the gaps, I guess. Twas brilliant, truly.
I've also been reading, a mix of Star Trek novels and books about grammar and Judaism. Also the Times as well as many magazines including Maxim (oh, I hate magazines) and the Wall Street Journal, which are mysteriously delivered in my name. embarrassing on both counts!
I used to think that in my golden years it would be cool to have all the time I want just to read. But like Burgess Meredith I learned that it's not so great. There's only so much sitting around I can do at one time. My fibromyalgia compromises my cognitive functions so focusing is a problem. too.Sometimes my brain doesn't function so goodly.
need to move around so oxygen can go to my head so I can think. If I only had a brain! ( That one's for you, honey.) But I still need stimulus of some sort. Most of the TV shows we watch are the few favorites we tape so we don't have to watch commercials. (A subject for another time perhaps.)
I need to disseminate (bullshit-free) knowledge as well as absorb it. I need to create something, It's important for me to do something when I can't be physically active. Resting is harder to achieve than one may think. I can no longer take ballet classes, I don't go to the gym. My hands are no longer skillfull. I don't even cook much anymore; I have anosmia- no sense of smell. I am often depressed and pissed off. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of having a disease, tired of coming up with different ways to express to different people just how I feel (how lucky you are to be retired!- not really!) and most of all, tired of everything being so tiring, even sleeping is tiring.
I'm working to adjust to and accept my limitations, but I need to compensate for the things that I lost, preferably without taking it out on innocent bystanders. I need a forum wherein I can bitch to my heart's content. Sometimes a good kvetch ( not to be confused with grepps, which also applies) can be as satisfying as a bad orgasm.
So I decided to keep a journal as a way to remind myself of who I am: a strong, independent-minded, loving, viable, credible being with empathy and ideas and opinions, and not just a useless, befuddled, writhing, lump of ultra-sensitive, under-developed, lumpy, sallow flesh.
Yeah, baby!
Unfortunately, I can't read my own handwriting and must type so here I am on-line.
Fuck the innocent bystanders!
My entries will not be as spontaneous as I had originally hoped, but the same goes for my life, and I got over that, so there you are. I find writing to be cathartic, for me personally and globally.
I have not been happy with the way things are going in the world....Ever. It's beyond me why these fucking humans can't get there shit together. Trous des balles!
In 56 years, I've seen families and people and governments and nations make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. Power and greed, that's what it's all about. Egotism and materialism. Everyone is in it for themselves first. Ugh!
Those who go in search of the meaning of life are missing the point; living is the meaning of life, living with truth, living the best way you can, living to enrich the world around you, not just taking from it, living in the world. Diluting power and greed. Learning from your past mistakes, dammit! .
One of my big jokes to myself is, I'm going to write a letter! ( to whomever) This blog is the repository for all the letters I want to write and you dear reader will have to bear the brunt of it.
Also, it is a good way to communicate with loved ones that I miss very much and who are far away. Altho I think of you often, I do not correspond at that same rate. Well, now that I think of it, neither do you, you slug! I still love you tho, I always will. You know who you are.
An email with messages are rare these days, a written letter even more so.
A friend was over when the mail came with a letter from Morgana; she was shocked and awed at the concept of a handwritten letter. Oh, you kids today!
Nevertheless, it's a good way to let you know what is going on with me and Stinky who incidentally, grows in his Steveness daily and in the Tao of Steve.
I appreciate that my new readers get my sense of humor, as it's cool to have new friends and humor alone is that which separates us from lesser beings and allows us to make fun of same.
Also, another confession:
I am an utter idiot about computers and am only here thru luck and guidance. Some of you have sent links to your blogs, but I don't know how to get there from here. No fear, I will persevere - I care, I swear.
On that sorry note, ta.
BB