Uncle Jack

I am ironically, a fan of irony but too much is no good.
We went to Florida to lose the blues, which we did. However, when we got home late Sun night (I left my purse on the plane, but got it back safely the next day) we learned that my 95 year old Aunt fell and broke her pelvis ( she's in rehab now) and two days later my 85 year old uncle fell and broke his neck. He died on Monday.
He was my mother's baby brother; she called him Jackie and that's who he was to all of us. He and Aunt Mollie and their kids, Shelly and Joel were our next-door neighbors and extended family for my entire childhood. In a very close family, we were in- your- face- close. After my Mom died last Feb, we got even closer. He was my link to her and I was his. When she died it was another huge loss for him - he had already buried a wife, a son and a sister..
The last time I saw him was Xmas day at Joel's and he looked terrible; shrunken and gray, like my Mom did when she got ill. Like my Mom, he constantly gave to others, he loved life and life loved him right back. His heart was a vast as his wit. If you met him once, you'd never forget him.
I called him before we left to make plans to get together so he could help me ID my Mom's unmarked family photos. I depended on him for lots of stuff.
He was my source for arcane facts, jokes, song lyrics, baseball talk (National league baseball, rare in Yankeeland), facts about Judaism and family history.
He would call for my opinion on politics and current events and the performance of the Mets, to tell stories and jokes, to ask for recipes and the answers to arcane questions. We shared the love of history, music, trivia, music, and puns. Although I seldom drink these days, we would always have a scotch when we got together, one shot, three ice cubes for him always.
We got him an expensive bottle of scotch as a Xmas gift, but he didn't open it. He said that he wanted to savor it at home, with Glenn Miller on CD. I thought it unusual the time, but now I wonder if he was saving it for his own shiva, the week when Jews mourn their dead. He was always the religious one in the family, more so as he got older. His faith meant a lot to him and he meant a lot to me, so even though I don't know the official way to do it, I will pray for him.
We, my entire family, will also laugh because the most important and fulfilling thing for Uncle Jackie was to make people laugh. He left us a brilliant legacy.
My niece Sarah wrote beautifully about him on her blog; click on her link on this page and see "Just remember that death is not the end"
My uncle would be very proud of what she wrote and he would be also be proud that I stole her photo.

All you lurkers!

While I’m gone this is for you –  it’s from Moxie:

It's Delurking Week this week. So if you read me, please leave a comment to let me know.

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Moxie: Delurking Week.

Southbound

Photo, at Joels: Steve, (and my Bro, on right) with Joel's beauteous, delicious and super-wimpy pups, Bugzee and Holly. I'm sorry we didn't get better shots of the tree; the house was like Xmas central. ( I love that stuff)

So I went to a new doctor yesterday, his uncommon name seemed familiar so I asked about it. Turns out his Dad went to my High School (the 6 degrees of Brooklyn) but graduated about 20 years before me. Did that little squeak think I was his father's age? I'm very sensitive about age these days, probably cause I've been immersed in death and illness, but also because the I've reached the age were it seems like my aging has accelerated and it ain't happening gracefully! Not Steve tho, how cute is he?

So we are going to Florida, where the old go. I need to water my plants before our trip and that will take most of the day, so I'd better hie. We will depart secure in the knowledge that the Vatican has approved the teaching of science, the news of which will hardly have an impact in Florida, which is I believe, a non-Catholic, religious right theocratic state ruled by a scion of the Bush
( referred to elsewhere as the "shrub").
I will exchange coats, scarves and gloves for gators, birds and manatees. The land has been screwed and their politics suck (you must read Carl Hiaasen- so evilly funny) but it's so beautiful and so full or flora and fauna, I go a little nuts there.I'll bring everyone back a shell!

In my short absence would like to direct your attention to blogs I like but who's links I cannot seem to add:
"Out of the blue" and "Is America burning?" They will do the kvetching while I'm gone.
Also, go to Sarah's blog (link below) for her incredible pix of my grandniece, the amazing Chicken Butt, who just turned 10!

This space will be still for a while, but my heart will not. Do you know the Warren Zevon song, Keep me in your heart for a while? He wrote it while he was dying. It's beautiful and sad and comforting. My heart is heavy lately. Florida and my old friends will lighten it. And I'm comforting myself by thinking of names for our new pets, whenever and whoever they might be.

About last weekend...

The hasty photo below was taken Sun. at the birthday party of T, Steve's sister, and also her eldest son, D1 ( who is 16!) at J, the other sister's house. Steve is the middle kid.
Both sisters are wonderful cooks and J made a fancy, great dinner. The entertainment was exceedingly well planned and directed by B3, the youngest boy, age 9. We played a multitude of games and for once, all the adults played charades and they get points for that. The most fun was truth or dare, wherein we all made fools of ourselves. Early on I stated my distaste for inserting food up my nose or in my ears, but plenty went over the teeth and thru the gums, look out belly, here it comes, you betcha, by golly!
And so, because the party was for two celebrants, I ate accordingly. Subsequently, I was left with two big bellies, see photo right. I have blinking lips on my shirt, but it's hard to see.
On to my side of the family:the previous party,a somewhat less dignified one, at Joel's on Sat, was our annual cousins get-together, seven hours of eating and eating, and a loud and boisterous affair it was. Turns out, none of us can actually hear one another, mostly due to advanced age. Eating in such immense quantities must compromise the hearing as well as cognitive function, which for me at best, is erratic but I digress; the fact that we are all know-it-all, pompous, pontificating prattlers insured that the evening was a laugh-a-minute affair. And the loudest cousin was MIA cause she was in the hospital but was supposed to be in Mexico on a cruise and we all had to lie to her mother (95!) so she wouldn't worry. The truth was told at the end of the "trip", exposing an intricate web of deceit, frantic phone calls, and emails which turned out to be not only worth it, but greatly appreciated by my aunt. We are quite a bunch of coconuts! I am trying to post of photo from the day, but I cannot.

I just returned after waiting at the doctor's for 1.3 hours. Don't get me started. He was nice tho, and I've got the antibiotics and soon I hope to see the world without a tissue in my face all the time. Hey, we live - we dare to dream.

Hasty photo

This a nephew, the middle one, E2. He is a melancholy boy but sweet and smart despite being something of an airhead.

I am bruised but not battered and bound by a vow to never again let myself become so agitated by the news as to be beside myself. I do believe that's why I fell on the stairs. Not enough room.
I finally found where I stashed the summer clothes and am packing for Florida and will heal in the sun, protected by clothes, hats, shade and sunscreen, and of course, constant surveillence.
Bon chance, mes amis! Marchons!

Happy 300th BF!

Yes I'm a Ben Franklin groupie. I was planning to write about the the Op-Ed piece on him in the Times which glaringly omitted the fact that he was a world-class scientist and philosopher, but I shall not due to extreme grumpiness.
Today, I was finally going to the doctor for my respiratory infection, but the gods and my right knee which buckled, said no, and I fell down the stairs instead.
(Only 2) I bashed my right knee and elbow, oddly enough the same knee and elbow I smashed last Oct( tripped in street) and the previous April (assaulted in street). I applied the Rice technique that every dancer knows: rest, ice, elevation and compression. I'm shivering but less swollen, and don't think I will ever play the violin again. Or could I before.
I must go elevate again so unfortunately the Strange and Hilarious Weekend of the Thousand Relatives cannot be recorded here now, instead I will paraphrase BF: Americans fought the war for Independence for the dignity and happiness of human nature.
I wish we could keep those words in our hearts - for every heart.

Death and the Matron

I want to thank all of you for your sweet thoughts which express not only sympathy but empathy too; I know you are feeling me. And to all you lurkers who didn't leave a comment but called, I love you. The Vet even sent a little clay thingie with Roscoe's pawprint and name that we didn't ask for. Fatboy's good vibes will linger on.

So with death on my mind (the scheduling was an unfortunate fluke), my esteemed brother and SIL came up so we could take care of some unpleasant decisions related to our mother's death last February that we (I) kept putting off for reasons too numerous and numerical to enumerate.
Securely nestled in the bosom of my family we set forth, first to the memorial shop to order the grave marker for Mom's plot. We were greeted by a passive-agressive chihuahua. (what are the odds of using that word in consecutive posts?) As we were discussing the inscription to be ingraved on the tablet and I started obsessing about it, Roz said, sweetie, you can decide later, its not like it's written in stone! I so love her. So blah, blah and Sid gets up to stretch his legs not noticing a considerable-for-a-tiny-dog pile of poop. At the very same instant before he took a step, I noticed it. "Don't step", I cried, my pre-school poopy radar activated, but to no avail; tragically (for the rug) it was too late. Sid had no-tread soles luckily, so on we went for pleasant lunch. It was a gorgeous sunny day, high 50's.

We went out to the beach and found a broker and finally put Mom's house on the market. The broker is from the area and knows the house, a plus.
This was a huge onus on me and Sid and we all feel like a tremendous weight was lifted and replaced by relief and accomplishment. Yay us!

Back home to wait for Steve to come home from work, then out to Laura's, a local Italian restaurant that we have wanted to try for years and always forget about. It's an old fashioned, family run place, a little run down too while you mention it. Dinner was fun and the food was good but their location is terrible, you can't get there from here!
A highway, subway tunnels and a maze of tiny streets divide us. Sid thinks one of them is too narrow to be a two-way. (His street is the same) Laura's is at the east entrance to our subway stop ( there are two entrances per stop) but we drove 10 minutes to get there. Next time, we walk thru the tunnel, damn the rats and winos!

The news today is chockful of death too, miners, Katrina, the Haj- elated stampede, unspeakable child abuse in NY, casualties in Iraq, the entire Middle East and Africa, Haiti.... yech, I'm too sick too work up a lot of outrage. I didn't even care about the NY Giants! Football sucks anyway.
My cold is worsening, I hope it's not an infection. Stinky is on the way home, he sounded awful too. We will have soup and tea and cake from Red Hens, which will nourish both body and spirit, and zone out with Netflix cause there was no Voyager to tape. Steve actually prefers cookies to cake but as always is willing to make the big sacrifices. My honeybaby! We must rest as we don't want to miss our Cousin's Day tomorrow. There are only eight of us (the ninth one is out of comission) but we all live in different states and rarely group.
I spoke to My Uncle today and has a bad cold too. He told me this joke ( this is the short version) that must be read out loud, preferably with a yiddish accent:

A little boy goes to his parents to ask what fornication means. They each brush him off so he goes to ask Bubba, his grandmother. Sure! Fornication, says Bubba, come, I'll show you. They go into her bedroom and walk over to the closet. She pulls out and beaded evening dress and says: see this fancy dress? This is fornication!

The Story of Roscoe

He was Cutest Cat that ever purred! He was cuter than a puppy.
He was absolutely the best natured and best cat. The Vet called at seven this morning to say he died, it was probably cancer. He did not have any pain or discomfort and was still eating and drinking till the very end, altho he weighed half his regular 11 pounds. When we went to visit him last night I knew he was going.

Flashback 18 years ago: Steve's Dad had just died and our darling 21 year old cat Minou had to be put to sleep.
Needing solace we went to a shelter and adopted Lulu (officially LieuLieu), an adult female cat, about 2 years old, mainly because we were afraid no one else would want her. She had had a crushed pelvis and was scruggly and skinny. She lived very well , sweet girl, till last year when she had to be put to sleep the day after I came out of the hospital for surgery on my broken wrist.(why the fuck do bad things happen in bunches?) A few days after we got Lulu, we were walking pass our local pet grooming place, a place we liked cause the owner Cheri was forever picking up strays and taking in kittens and puppies. Looking in the window, I saw Roscoe, and our eyes met. Come, says Steve. No, I say, we don't need another cat. He's too cute, says Steve. No kittens, say I. Steve: You know you want him. Yes, I said.
We went in and this 4 month old kitten was being terrorized by a chihuahua puppy the size of an egg. (He always disliked dogs which is we don't have one) Steve bent down to pet him and he crawled into his lap and the rest is history.
After he came home from being neutered, the Vet said he might be woozy and not to let him walk around. He was lying on Steve's chest when he started waking up. We tried to restrain him so he wouldn't fall off the bed, so he peed all over Steve's chest.
He and Lulu got along, but he was definitely the one in the relationship who loved more. She was a sweetie but independent, not like Roscoe who was more dog-like and I'm afraid, something of a Mama's boy.
Lulu was always very skinny and muscular and Roscoe was soft and sqooshy like a puppy, so we called her Stick-legged beast and he was FatBoy.
He would fetch balls and return them, come when you call (most of the time) and respond to commands: no, up, get-in-the-box, get-the-ball, tuna, treats, spray bottle. After he got locked in the closet for a whole day, we called him Closet Boy whenever he poked his nose where it should not be. He would respond with a bad look and an annoyed meow, then walk away.
He was always very vocal and articulate, if not occasionally loud, and had many meows in his repetoire: I want love!, I want food!, you are the best thing in the world!, where are you?, I'm downstairs doing something bad! (eating plants, walking on the stove), Hey, there's a cat in the yard!
He was unconditional furry love. When I was housebound, he was my comforting companion. He was like a heated cushion. He was constantly purring. His catsitters all loved him. He was loved by all.
When we saw him last night, he was lying in his cage, belly shaved from the sonogram, IV in his paw, unresponsive. I put my face next to his and he came awake and recognized us and started meowing, followed by purring in high gear. We had our moments of love and goodbye. We will miss our Fatboy.

Kvetch cannot be an adverb

But this year was going so well! Now, not so much. Everyone in my matrix is sick. Steve (one of three) is virus-y. Me (two of three), whenever I get a cold or virus, it precipitates what's called a "flare" (of Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue, I still don't know the difference) which lasts for months, esp in winter. I feel pretty crappy but life must go on so yesterday I went to the dentist for an overdue cleaning, and also to improve my dental karma.
Too late! It turns out I need root canal, maybe two! And, it will be " a real bitch" so I will have to go to the specialist, a lovely man but one I'd hoped never to see again. And I'd better do it before we fly to FLA in a few weeks, otherwise I may implode or something. Steve himself is having root canal tonight.

Roscoe,(three of three) who started eating and drinking more lately, became much weaker and last night we took him to the Vet. She said it could be liver or kidney failure and he was dehydrated as a result. They will keep him to run tests and give him anti-biotics and fluids. Last night the X-rays showed an enlarged liver. We will happily do drug therapy but we will not subject our beloved 17 1/2 year old cat to anything invasive. I'm so nervous, it seems likely that it's cancer. Happily, hes not in pain. Sweet Cookie boy. It's so strange to have a catless house, I keep imagining cat noises. We will go visit tonight and get more results.
Hope for the best, expect the worst.

I also await delivery of our new bed which we picked out when we were raging, OK maybe simmering, with fever, and it felt good just to lie down. I was a hot-flashing Goldilocks. The mattress we decided on is firm but has a pillow top to make tossing and turning more comfortable.

I'm hoping this year will improve and our Theory of Vacation - begining: crappy, remainder: fabulous - will apply, universally actually. Things are pretty fucked-up in the world and I'm nervous and scared about that too.

Well the bed came; it was very sad because I didn't have to worry about Roscoe escaping thru the open door as is his custom. The old mattress and boxspring corners were scratched to pieces from both cats. Good times.
The deliverer used to live on my street but moved to No. Queens to be in a larger Guyanese neighborhood. He appreciated my Bob Marley and my plants.
I think he overheard me on the phone and was trying to cheer me up.
There's Little Feat on the radio-"There's a fat man in the bathtub"!!! Which reminds me:

Word Definition: Kvetch
A Yiddish word from the German kvetsh : to squeeze.
Commonly: to complain, to annoy - generally a combination of both

Verb: to annoy, complain, pinch, squeeze, pester, whine, wimper, moan, caterwaul, grunt, bitch, rant, rave or blog.
Ex: Stop kvetching about the blood and use a tourniquet already!
Or: Even Alito thinks that our idiot W overstepped himself. Irrelevant, but you were warned in the fine print, were you not?
Noun: Pest ( also, noodge), complaint/complainer, squeeze, pinch, busybody (also: Yenta)
Ex: She is such a kvetch! She complained that the food was terrible! And the portions were so small!
or: Leave me alone, don't be such a kvetch!
Adjective:
Ex: I'm getting kvetchy, can we stop? A cow! here? Rocks! here? I have to pee!..., this results in Steve getting kvetchy, it's like the Great Mandala, an endless circle of Kvetch.

Apparently lesser known ( but not in my childhood home ) usages;
An action required for a child to perform a BM ( poopy): Give a little kvetch!
An expression of affection: come bubbelah, let me give you a little kvetch.
An expression of displeasure: Rat bastard, I'll give you such a kvetch!

For fun, see if you can translate this sentence: Don't be such a kvetch or I'll give you a kvetch if you kvetch to me again about that kvetch.

Finally today, an item about the Rolling Stones performing at the Superbowl. Initially the powers that be decided to restrict, to the age of 45, anyone allowed on the field during halftime. This policy was subsequently changed.
I guess it was when they discovered that the youngest Stones member, Mick Jones, I think, is 58.

Blog post too long! Limits sought!

I was trying to make up for lost time but ranted to excess!
Also, the pain demon is here and I am feeling mean and kvetchy.
Additionally, I am reading too much news and I am steamed!

So today's post will be the soul of brevity but no less unbelievable:

Pat Robertson, a cornerstone of the Religious Right, announced on his TV show the 700 Club, that ["his good friend"] Ariel Sharon's serious condition was divine punishment for "dividing God's land", a reference to the disengagement in Gaza.
I don't know much about the bible but shouldn't peace be the most vital and godly thing? And doesn't he consider Muslim Gazans to be God's people? This guy is still on TV?

Many Arab leaders across the Middle East have also invoked divine retribution; Sharon's stroke is "God's revenge on Sharon the Butcher and God's gift for the New Year" See; NYTimes 1/6/06 p.A14.
Others acknowledge that he had adapted his ideology and the peace process will stall without him.
Sharon will ultimately be celebrated ( and emulated, halevai) as recognizing that a Palestinian state is necessary and peace is even more necessary.
Halevai: I wish, in Hebrew.

In Florida, Jeb Bush's school voucher plan was struck down, hallelujuh, and may have implications nationally.
Should we really pay more taxes to subsidize parochial schools and insure that public schools stink? Let's have more teachers, smaller classes.

The 2nd Ave. Deli in NYC ( since 1953!) has been closed because the rent was raised from $24,000 to $33,000 a month. Damn.
They served something called an "Instant Heart Attack", a pile of pastrami, tongue, etc. sandwiched between potato pancakes, for $19.95. Oy, I got heartburn just writing about it.
BTW: oi and oy are the same word, they are just spelled differently per continent.

Lastly, on Wed, the Earth reached perihelion, it's closest approach to the Sun for us in the Northern Hemisphere. It's proximity was 91.4 million miles.
In 11,000 years, Earth's orbital parameters will change and perihelion will occur in the summer, instead.
I thought you'd want to know.

Twenty ought six

I'm back, struck down by a fluish curse, but on I blog lest I disappoint my adoring readers. Our holiday was fabu. We went to three parties and never left our block. No traffic, no parking. Our house is part of about 15 attached houses, all the same. I am envious cause everyone has renovated but us. They all did it differently and it's fun to see how everyone redid theirs.
Also, all of our neighbors happen to be gourmet cooks. Snap!
We went to a great party on New Years Eve with great eats and cool music, champagne and unbelievable pastries. It was multi-level: kids downstairs, adults upstairs. There was actually dancing and we stayed up real late.
We went to a Hanukkah/New Years Day/ renovation party at the rabbi and his wife's down the block:oh baby, regular potato pancakes and spicy curried sweet potato ones, smoked fish, brie baked encroute, with currants and apricots! And Coquito, which is like a Puerto Rican super-rich egg nog.
The next day we were invited to a fancy multi-course french dinner a quatre with AM&C. They are moving soon and altho we will stay in touch we will miss them, also they are taking away their cats who we babysit. We will esp miss P-nut who, likes to hang in our backyard; he trained me to grow him pots of catnip and he lures Steve outside even in the winter, they have an unholy alliance. That's him above- how cute is he? His brother, Sevruga looks just like him.
My kitkat, Roscoe is not doing so well. He is going to be 17 and may be on his last legs, but I thought the same thing last year after Lulu died and he got stronger. He is so skinny and bony! He is the best and cutest cat in the world.

Yessiree, it's a new year and so far in the world of You cant make this up, it's not been so happy. A tragic, mis-handled, should-have-been- prevented ( why were all those citations ignored?) mining accident and why are we investing all kinds of money in coal anyway, does that seem like a practical alternative environmentally speaking?

Republicans are certainly not happy and why is it that Ambramoff is not pronounced Ambramoff , like it was in my old neighborhood? In those days, if anyone listened in your phone, it was the neighbors' party line, not the President, excuse me, the NSA.
Charities are happier tho, being the beneficiaries of hastily cast-off laundered illegal campaign funds.

George Pataki, our GOP governor who is looking to run for President, wants to cut taxes. Exactly who will pay for health care and education? And Social security? And the defense budget which is bloated, mismanged, misapprioprated, and proving to be somewhat illegally dispersed? Cut this!

A new report says that car sales are up, SUV sales are down. You think?

I am horrified and nervous about Ariel Sharon's fate. He unified Israel and made concessions for the sake of the peace process with the PA which is currently splintering into so many subgroups it's hard to imagine they will reach any concensus.I am afraid that less cool heads will prevail, namely Bibi Netanyahu who believes that more (settlements) is more and is way more militant. This is very un-good.

A related item: in the the Wall ST. Journal today they spelled Oslo, Olso.
On the front page!

In Afghanistan, a high school teacher was beheaded by suspected Taliban members as part of a "campaign against educated community leaders". It was apparently an attempt to undermine public trust in the government. Said an official, "killing one educated person is as effective as killing dozens of ordinary people." The teacher had previously received threats on his life because he taught girls.

On to France, where a law passed last year that calls for a positive portrayal of France's colonial history particularly in North Africa, in textbooks, has become contentious. Imagine. Chirac wants it modified. How sensitive.

Did y'all hear about the The Arnold Schwartzenegger Sports Stadium in Austria that changed it's name after the governor refused to pardon Tookie Williams from execution. Living in California has definitely hardened Arnold.

NYC health officials are urging Orthodox Jewish leaders to educate parents about the dangers about a type of Hasidic circumcision where the moyel sucks the blood from the circumcision wound. This process has been found to pass a herpes virus present in most adults but infectious and possibly fatal in babies, one infant has already died. Religious leaders responded by accusing the city of interfering with their constitutional rights if they launch a public service campaign. They really suck, huh?

Michelle Kwan has a groin injury and will not compete in the nationals which will hurt her chances for the Olympics. She's my reason for watching!

Monday in Brooklyn a man, 28, fatally strangled his sister, 27 in a fight over the volume of her TV. Damn. That reminds me: "Dancing with the stars" is back on TV tonight! I don't care what you say, I love it.

In a personal note: five deep ocean species of fish have been listed as endangered, including the onion-eye grenadier. Stop the madness!

I think the paragraph spaces are easier to read, non?

At long last - Sarah!!!

In honor of my brilliant, beautiful, creative niece Sarah who inspired and encouraged my humble writings, who produced the fabulous chicken-butted one and who brought us Pete the peerless, I am proud to announce that after 2 months and much assistance, I've finally inserted the link to her blog on my blog!
Please click below on "sad and beautiful world" and don't forget to look at her rather amazing pictures.
Caution: some photos may cause swooning or lightheadedness! Maybe it's just me but you are forewarned.