Clever holiday wishes from the ACLU

Equal rights bless us, everyone!

An Overdue Visit
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nationFriends of Freedom knew it was a special occasion.Lady Liberty stood taller just off the shoreHer torch shining brighter than a few weeks before
But it wasn't the flame turning her cheeks all rosyIt was thoughts of Snowe, Feingold and Nancy PelosiAnd leaders from every side of the aisleWho would soon bring the Bill of Rights back into style.
The Amendments had all hurried out of their beds -Which was no easy task, they were nearly in shreds -And they rushed to the window on papery feetAs a jolly old man flew right over their street.
"Could it be!?" they inquired as the roof shook and trembledAnd they crept toward the mantle, peaceably assembled,Just as someone emerged from the chimney with flairIn a shiny red suit, with a shock of white hair
And a top hat, and pants all in red, white and blue -"Wait a minute," the Amendments exclaimed, "Who are you?""Don't be frightened my children," he said, "it's no scam."You can't have forgotten your old Uncle Sam!"
"Holy crap!" said Free Speech. "Stop right there!" yelled Bear ArmsAnd Privacy cried "Who shut off the alarms?!"The Fifth remained silent, but Uncle Sam said"We've been having some trouble, but Freedom's not dead."
The Amendments were cautious. "It's just been so long"We've seen Liberty lost, we've seen so much go wrong."The President's trying to mangle and warp us,"The Fourth is in tatters, so's Habeas Corpus!"
The old man sat down - he had had quite a ride -But he told them "Don't worry, the Law's on our side,"'Cause the nation's fed up and more people are crying"For Justice and an end to illegal spying,
"And secret abductions by the CIA,"And laws that would take women's choices away,"And Gitmo tribunals and secret detention,"And other intrusions too numerous to mention - "
"Not so fast," said a grinchity voice from aboveAnd Don Rumsfeld pushed past the Fourteenth with a shove.He was covered in soot and he looked kind of scary.It seemed like his Christmas had not been so merry.
The Amendments said they weren't happy to see him:"You tried to throw all of us in the museum!"You've done so much the Constitution forbids!""And I would have gone on, but for you meddling kids!"
Uncle Sam told him "Rummy, your plans just won't do,"So we've got a brand new timetable for you!"And as Rumsfeld retired and crept into the nightThe Amendments cried out "Have a good secret flight!"
From the distance they heard him reply with a snort."Bye-bye, Rummy!" they answered, "we'll see you in court!"Uncle Sam rode the chimney up out of the roomAnd, like Frosty, he said "I'll be back again soon."
But they heard him exclaim "Oh, and just one more thing!"This year, when the holiday bells start to ring,"Try to honor religion. Honest faith can't be wrong."It's America, can't we all just get along?
"So, on Christian," he cried, "Muslim, Hindu, and Jew!"On Quaker! On Shaker! And Atheist too!"On Buddhist! On Taoist! And to show we're not chickens"We'll file a few lawsuits defending the Wiccans!
"Your belief is your right, so get out there and savor it."Uncle Sam's not a preacher, and he doesn't play favorites!"So this holiday season, whatever you do,Warmest wishes for Freedom, from the ACLU.

Josh & Me, circa 1994

This is the kid, er man ( now 14 ) whose Bar Mitzvah we went to last week. This was my class of "Terrific Twos", I played my guitar at circle time and everyone got a chance to strum. Josh and I fell in love the first time our eyes met and our families became intertwined. Not your usual Bar Mitzvah, his parents, Leonore and Amina are a bi-racial lesbian couple. The service was officiated by a lesbian rabbi and cantor (who sings) and the Jewish congregation itself is housed in a lovely church which shares it's space on Saturdays. It's so cool! One of Josh's Moms, as well as my friend Karen became Bat Mitvahs last year in the same synagogue. It's a very egalitarian bunch. Altho I am a godless heathen , I always enjoy the worship experience, the singing and the festive vibes. I also took the opportunity to say Yiskor, a prayer for the dead, for my Uncle Jack, it would have pleased him. There was a lovely party afterward at the Grand Prospect Hall- featured in several movies- and we danced to a waltz as well as hip hop.There was a photo-montage of Josh's life displayed, including a photo like this. I was very flattered to be included in it, altho I didn't recognize myself till I was told it was me. Oivavoi, 12 years pass so quickly! He's tall and grown-up but he still has that gorgeous Joshie face!

Bad mood and thing in the news.

Yeah, I'm in a bad mood and only mocking will help. Apparently, I have something called Sjorgren's Syndrome, which is bad enough but I went webside to research it and was horrified to find it under "Shogun's" Doesn't anyone care about spelling anymore?
Now that the Iraq study group has released it's findings (the war is a big mistake-what a surprise!) there should be a Congressional study group to discover why virtually ALL our elected officials elected to go to Iraq in the first place for no damn good reason.
The Times ran an article about e-mail "sign-offs" last week. A woman responded in a letter to the editor that she considered the salutation "Peace" insipid and meaningless. I would like to beat the crap out of her.
And from today, Stranger than fiction:
According to the town's Islamic court, residents of Bulo Burto, Somalia who do not pray 5 times a day will be beheaded, starting this Saturday. Pray or die!
An Israeli businessman who made his fortune in Internet gambling sites is offering $1billion to the Palestinian Prime Minister for a peasce accord with Israel. He is offering $100 million just for a sit-down with The Israeli PM. He says, "the killing must be stopped". That's putting his money where is mouth is.
Padua, became the first Italian city to allow homosexuals and unmarried couples to register formally as families, thus pissing off the Vatican. I would wif-ed weathily in Padua!
There was a particularly annoying article about people who spend upwards of $100 apiece to bring their 2 and 3 year olds to the theatre, a great place for toddlers, with the opportunity to sit quietly for 2 hours! What a pleasure for the rest of the audience.
Eech, we rented Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and actually couldn't finish watching that interminable dreck. Why are bad movies so long?
And why did this typeface change for no reason? Grrrr.

New dimensions in cyberphotos!

It took some doing, but I finally got a Flickr badge here on my blog. I'm so excited! You can click on any photo to enlarge it.
Here are some photos, taken last Saturday by our favorite photographer and Carmelita chronicler, Jasper whose cute little face is included.. We had just returned from a Bar Mitzvah which is why we are so spiffed up. I will return later to tell you all about it, I've been too long at this keyboard.

We are good citizens

Since my disablement I no longer take dance class or go to the gym to work out, so the high point of my (our) day is our doggy walk. (We both need our exercise) We live near a Parkway (site of the first bicycle path in the country!) which is transversed by ramps leading to a footbridge. The ramps are closed in and Caramel can run them unleashed. One day last week, at the top of the ramp, I found a spilled-out gift bag of stuff that looked like it belonged to a teacher, hand-made greeting cards from students, audio tapes and address labels. I was horrified to think that someone lost her stuff or worse, was mugged, so I went on-line to try to find her. I couldn't find her phone number but I was surprised to find a site that listed the occupants of her building by apartment number. The name was not the same as hers but I called and left a message anyway. The return call was from her ex-husband and this is what he told me; they are divorced but on good terms, she had thrown the stuff away, apparently when she moved out, and someone went through her trash and left the stuff on the ramp. She was injured on the job as a teacher had to retire. He was so surprised and gratified that a stranger went to all that trouble to find her that he called twice to thank me. He said he was an immigrant from Pakistan and in this country for 10 years. He is the owner of a construction company and he offered to paint my house for free! Can you imagine? A good deed appreciated!
In other news, we have a forecast of snow and temps in the 20's tonight. It was 67 degrees last Fri. What the heck! Miss Carrie, southern belle, does not like it. C'est tres froid!

Scanned, probed, rayed, and worse, shopping.

This week, more medical comedies of errors, more mammos and a cat scan. I never do get to see the cat. I know everyone is waiting on tenterhooks for the news: yes I got a winter coat! I braved a department store, found a fat brown coat that covers my significant butt and with hood for bad weather AND it was 1/2 price. Because I had car custody that day and gifts to buy, I made many, many stops to shop; ugh. In the supermarket I overheard two rather prim young women of a certain religious sect buying a bag of instant-light charcoal briquets. She: "If it doesn't work, we can use it in the summer." Alarmed, I stuck my nose in saying, what are you using them for? "Something, they replied" Said I, I don't mean to be nosy but this has chemicals in it and must be used outdoors. Actually, the bag had a huge warning printed on half the bag with the words carbon monoxide and use outside only. Oh, they replied, thank you for telling us. God certainly saved us today! Thought I, No, it was me and God would have done better to teach you a little practical knowledge like learning how to read labels!